Ek Aisa Sanyog!

Dosto ye ek aisa sanyog thaa apni maan ke saath jiske baare men main aapko bataane ja raha hun . dosto ye tabhi hota hai jab sitare kisi bahut khas mouke par kisi khas disha main line baddh hon. Mere khayal se ise aur kisi tarike se parabhaashit nahi kiya ja sakta. Main ghar ke pichwaade main kyariyon main khoyi apni ball dhudh raha thaa jab maine ma ki awaz apne mata pita ke kamre ke sath attached bathroom ki choti si khidki se aati suni. Khidki thodi si khuli thee aur main usme se apni ma ki phusphusaati awaz ko sun sakta thaa jab wo phone par kisi se baat kar rahi thee. 

Wo vaastav men ek adubhut sanyog thaa. Wo shaayad bathroom main toilet istemaal karne aayi thee aur sanjog vash uske paas mobile thaa, jo apne aap main ek durlabh baat thee kyonki ma bathroom main kabhi mobile lekar nahi jati thee aur sanyogvash main bhi khidki ke itne nazdik thaa ke wo kya baten kar rahi hai saaf saaf sun sakta thaa.

Main koyi jaanbujhkar uski baaten nahi sun raha thaa main to apni ball dhundh raha thaa magar kuch alfaz aise hote hain ki aadmi chah kar bhi unhe nazarandaaz nahi kar sakta, khas kar agar wo alfaz apni sagi ma ke munh se sun raha ho to. Jab maine ma ko wo baat kehte suna to mere kaan khade ho gaye: “ab main tumhe kya batayun. Mujhe to ab yeh bhi yaad nahi hai ke lund ka sparsh kaisa hota hai. Itna samay ho gaya hai mujhe bina sex ke”

Pehle pehal to mujhe apne kaano par yakeen hi nahi huya ke shaayad maine sahi se suna hi nahi hai, main apni saanse rok kar bina koi awaz kiye poore dhyaan se sunane laga.

tab wo kaafi samay tak chup rahi jaise wo phone par dusri aur se bolne wale ko sun rahi thee aur bich bich ‘han’, ‘hunh’, ‘main janti hun’ kar rahi thee. Akhirkaar ant men wo boli “main wo sab karke dekh chuki hun magar koyi fayda nahi. Ab hamari zindagi us padav par pahunch gayi hai jisme sex hamari rojmarra ki jindagi ki zaroorat nahi raha”

Uffff main ab jakar samjha thaa. Meri ma apni sex life se santusht nahi thee aur phone par kisi se shikaayat kar rahi thee ja apna dukhda ro rahi thee. Phone ke usre sire par kon thaa mujhe malum nahi thaa magar jo koyi bhi thaa jahir thaa ma ke bahut nazdik thaa. Isiliye wo us sakhas se itne khulepan aur bharose se baat kar rahi thee. 

Phir se ek lambi chuppi cha jati hai aur wo siraf sunti rehti hai. Tab wo bolti hai “mujhe nahi malum main kya karun, meri samjh main kuch nahi aata. Kabi kabhi mujhe itni ichcha hoti hai chudwane ki, meri choot jaise jal rahi hoti hai, kammouttejna jaise sar chadh kar bolti hai, aur main raat bhar so nahi pati aur wo dusri aur karvat lekar aise sota hai jaise sabh kuch sahi hai, kuch bhi galat nahi hai” 

Maine kabhi bhi ma ko kaamuttejna shabad ke sath jod kar nahi dekha thaa. Wo mere liye itni pooran, itni nishkalank thee ke main janta bhi nahi thaa ke uski bhi sarirak jaroorten theen meri…meri hi terah. Wo mere liye siraf ma thee siraf ma, ek aurat kabhi nahi. 

Main janta thaa ma aur pitaji ek sath sote hain aur mere man ke kisi kone main yeh baat bhi ankit thee ke unke bich aatmiy sambandh the magar ab jab maine apne man ko daudaya aur is baat ki aur dhyaan diya ke aatmiyta ka asli matlab yehan chudayi se thaa. Maine kabhi yeh baat nahi sochi thee ke mere pitaji ne meri ma ko choda hai aur apna lund ma ki choot main ghuseda hai, wo lund jiska ehsaas ma ke anusar wo kabh ki bhul chuki thee. 

Ma aur choot yeh do aise lafaz the jo mere liye ek line main nahi ho sakte the. Meri ma to bas ma thee, poori sudh aur pvitar. Jab uski baatchit ne is aur ishara kiya ke uske paas bhi ek choot hai jo lund ke liye tadap rahi hai. Bas, main aur kuch nahi sunana chahta thaa. Mujhe yeh bhi bhul gaya main wahan kya kar raha thaa ja kya karne gaya thaa. Main wahan se door hat jana chahta thaa itna door ke ma ki awaz na sun sakun

Us din baad main jab maine use rasoyi main dekha to mujhe uski anupsthiti main baichaini si mehsoos hone lagi. Mujhe thoda apradh bodh bhi mehsoos ho raha thaa ke main uski antrang dubidha ko jaan gayaa thaa aur use is baat ki koyi jankari nahi thee. Us apradhbodh ne ma ke liye meri soch ko thoda badal diya thaa. Uski samasya ki jankari ne uske prati mere nazriye main bhi tabdili la di thee. Main shaayad ise sahi dhang se bata to nahi sakta magar mere andar kuch ehsaaas janam lene lag the.

Us din jab wo drawing room main aayi to barbas mera dhyaan uski tango ki aur gaya. Main chahta nahi thaa magar phir bhi khud ko rok nahi paya. Siraf itna hi nahi, meri nazar uski tango se sidhe us sthan par pahunch gayi jehan uski tange apas main mil rahi theen, us sthan par jehan usne na jane kitne samay se lund mehsoos nahi kiya thaa. Upar se wo tight jeans pehne huye thee aur usne apni tshirt jeans ke andar de rakhi thee jis se uski tango ka wo madhay bhag mujhe bahut ache se dikhayi de raha thaa balke thoda ubhra huya nazar aa raha thaa. Uske wo lafaz mere kano main gunj rahe the jab main uski jangho ko ghur raha thaa.

Wo apni favourite jeans pehne huye thee aur wo sthan jehan uski janghe aapas main mil rahi thee wahan thoda gap thaa jo uski choot ko highlight kar raha thaa……..khub ubhar kar. Maine ma ko pehle bhi un jeans main dekha thaa magar tango ke bich ka wo gap mujhe kabhi nazar nahi aaya thaa na hi wo tikoni aakar ka bhag. Asliyat main, shaayad maine wo ubhra huya hissa dekha hi nahi thaa, shaayad wo meri kalpana matr thee. uski jeans kafi mote kapde ki bani huyi thee isliye us hisse ko dekhna bahut mushkil thaa magar aaj main use ek aag hi roop main dekh raha thaa..

Uski choot ki aur baar baar dhyan jane se mujhe kuch baichaini mehsoos hone lagi thee. Us raat main so na saka. 

Us raat jab mere mata pita apne kamre main sone ke liye chale gaye to main kalpana karne laga kaise meri ma mere pitaji ke niche hogi aur us lund ko apni choot main le rahi hogi jo usne na jane kitne samay se mehsoos bhi nahi kiya thaa. Maine yeh sabh fitoor apne dimag se nikalne ki bahut koshish ki magar ghoom phir kar wo baten phir se mere dimag main aa jati. Mera dhyaan uski pant ke us gap wale hisse ki aur chala jata aur main kalpana main apne pitaji ke lund ko us gap ko bharte dekhta.

Mere khayal mujhe baichain kar rahe the aur main theek se keh nahi sakta ke mujhe kis baat se jayada pareshani ho rahi thee, is baat se ke ma ki choot baar baar meri ankho ke samne ghoom rahi thee ya fir is khayal se ke mere pitaji use chod rahe honge. 

Agle din mera mood bahut ukhada huya thaa. Mere haav bhav meri halat bata rahe the, khud ma ne bhi pucha ke main theek to hun. Wo us din bhi wohi jeans pehne huye thee magar uske sath ek form fitting T-shirt dali huyi thee. Us din jindgi main pehli baar mera dhyaan ma ke mummon ki aur gya. Ek baargi to mujhe yakeen hi nahi huya ke uske numme itne bade aur itne sundar the. Uske bhari mummo ke ehsas ne meri halat aur bhi patli kar di thee.

Baaki ka poora din mera man uski tango ke jod se uske mummo, uske un gol-matol bhari mummo ke bich uchlata raha. Mere kaano main baar baar uski wo baat gunj uthati ke use ab lund ka ehsaas bhi bhool gaya thaa ke kabhi kabhi usko chudwane ka kitna man hota thaa.

Main manta hu use matar ek ma ki terah dekhne ki vajaye ek sundar, kamniy nari ke roop mai dekhne ka badlav mere liye aprtyashit thaa . Aisa lagta thaa jise ek parda uth gaya thaa aur jehan pehle ek dhundhalaka thaa wehan ab main ek aurat ki tasveer saaf saaf dekh sakta thaa. Lagta thaa jaise meri kuch ichchhayen man ki gehrayion main kahin dabi huyi theen jo yeh sunane k baad ubhar kar samne aa gayi thee ke usko kabhi kabhi chudwane ka kitna man hota thaa. Wo jaise badal kar koyi aur ho gayi thee aur mere liye svartha nayi thee. Jehan pehle mujhe uske mummo aur uski jangho ke jod par dekhne se apradhbodh, jhijak mehsoos hota thaa, ab har bitate din ke sath main unhe asani se bina kisi jhijak ke dekhne laga thaa balke jo bhi main dekhta uski apne man main khub jam kar uski tareef bhi karta. Mujhe nahi malum usne is badlav par koyi dhyaan diya thaa ya nahi magar kayi maukon par main badi asani se pakda ja sakta thaa. 

Ek din adhi raat ko main tv dekh raha thaa, mujhe kitchen main ma ke kadmo ki ahat sunai di. Us samay use sote hone chahiy thaa magar wo jaag rahi thee. Wo drawing room main mere paas aayi. Uske hath main juice ka glass thaa. 

“Main bhi tumhare sath tv dekhungi?” wo chote sofe par baith gayi jo bade sofe se nabbe digree ke kone par thaa jis pe main baita hua thaa. Usne nightie pehni huyi the jiska matlab thaa wo soyi thee magar phir uth gyi thee.

“Neend nahi aa rahi” maine pucha. Mere dimag main uski telephone wali baatchit gunj uthi jisme usne keha thaa ke kabhi kabhi use chudwane ki itni jabardast ichcha hoti hi ke use neend nahi aati. Main sochne laga kya us samay bhi uski wohi halat hai, ke shaayad wo kaam ki aag main jal rahi hai aur use neend nahi aa rahi hai, isiliye wo tv dekhne aayi hai. Is baat ka ehsaas hone par ke main ati kamottejit nari ke sath hun mera badan sehar utha.

Wo wahan baithkar aram se juice pine lagi , use dekhkar lagta thaa jaise use koyi jaldbazi nahi thee, juice khatam karke vaapas apne bedroom main jane ki. Jab uska dhyaan tv ki aur thaa to meri nazren chori chori uske badan ka muyana kar rahi thee. Uske mote aur thos mummon ki aur mera dhyaan pehle hi ja chuka thaa magar its baar maine gaur kiya uski tange bhi behad khubsurt thee. Sofe pe baithne se uski nightie thodi upar uth gayi thee aur uske ghutno se thoda upar takk uski jangho ko dhamp rahi thee.

Shaayad raat bahut guzar chuki thee, ja tv par adhi raat ko parveen babi ke dilkash jalwe dekhne ka asar thaa, magar mujhe ma ki janghen bahut pyari lag rahin thee. balke sahi lafzon main bahut sexy lag rahi thee. Sexy, yehi wo lafaz tha jo mere dimag main gunja thaa jab hum dono tv dekh rahe the ja mere case main, tv dekhne ka natak kar raha thaa. Asliyt main agar mujhe kuch dikhayi de raha thaa to wo uski sexy janghe thee aur yeh khayal mere dimag main ghum reh thaa ke wo is samay shaayad wo bahut kamottejit hai.

wo kafi samay wahan baithi rahi, ant main bolte huye uth khadi huyi “offf! raat bahut guzar gayi hai. Main ab sone ja rahi hun” 

Main kuch nahi bola. Wo uth kar mere pass goodnight bolne ko aayi. Normally raat ko ma vida lete huye mere hontho par ek halka sa chumban leti thee jaisa mere bachpan se chala aa raha thaa. Wo siraf sukhe hontho se sukhe hontho ka kshanik sparsh matar hota thaa aur us raat bhi kuch aisa hi thaa, ek sukha, halka sa lagbhag na malum hone wala chumban. Magar us raat us chumban ke arath badal gaye the, kyonki mere dimag main uske kamuk ango ki dhundhali si tasveeren ubhar rahi theen. Wo ek halka sa achi mehak wala perfume dale huye thee jisne meri dasha aur bhi kharab kar di. Main uttejit hone laga thaa. 

Main use mudh kar room ki aur jate dekhta raha. Uska silky, soft nightgown uske badan ke har katav hagayer mod har golayi ka anusaran kar raha thaa. Wo uski gand ke ubhar aur dhalan se chipka huya uske chutdon ke bich ki khayi main halka sa dhans huya thaa. Us drishy se ma ko ek sundar, kamniy nari ke roop main dekhne ke mere badlav ko pooran kar diya thaa. 

“Ma kitni sundar hai, kitni sexy hai” main khud se dohrata ja raha thaa. Magar uski sundarta kis kaam ki! Wo akarshak aur kamniy nari har rat mere pitaji ke paas unke bed par hoti thee magar phir bhi unke andar wo ichcha nahi hoti thee ke us kamottejit nari se kuch karen. Mujhe pitaji ke is ravayiye par vakayi main bahut hairat ho rahi thee. 

Muhe is baat par bhi tajjub ho raha thaa ke meri ma achanak se mujhe itni sundar aur akarshak kyon lagne lagi thee. Viase ye itna bhi achanak se nahi thaa magar yakayak ma mere liye itni khoobsurat, itni kamniy ho gayi thee is baat ka kuch matlab to nikalta thaa. Kyon mujhe wo itni akarshak aur sexy lagne lagi thee? Mujhe ehsaas thaa ke is sabki suruaat mujhe ma ki apuran jismani khawahison ki jankari hone ke baad huyi thee, Lekin phir bhi wo meri ma thee aur main uska beta aur ek beta hone ke nate mere liye un baton ka jyada matlab nahi hona chahiye thaa. Uski hasraten kisi aur ke liye theen, mere liye nahi, mere liye bilkul bhi nahi. 

Agar us samay main kuch soch sakta thaa to siraf apni hasraton ke bare main, aur ma ke liye mere dil main paida ho rahi hasraten. Magar phir main uski khawahish kyon kar raha thaa? Kya wakayi wo meri khawahish ban gayi thee? Mere paas kisi swal ka jwab nahi thaa. Yeh baat ke woh kabhi kabhi bahut uttejit ho jati thee aur yeh baat ke uski jismani hasraten poori nahi hoti theen, ne ma ke prati mere andar kuch ehsaas jaga diye the. Yeh baat ke wo chudwane ke liye tarasti hai, magar mera pita use chodta nahi hai, is baat se mere dimag main yeh vichar aane laga ke shaayad isme main uski kuch madad kar sakta thaa. Magar hamara rishta raste main ek bahut badi badha thee, isliye vastav main uske sath kuch kar pane ki sambhavna mere liye nabrabar hi thee. Magar mere dimag ke kisi kone main yeh vichar jarur janam le chuka thaa ke koshis karne main koyi haraz nahi hai. Us sambhavnaf ne ek marad hone ke nate ma ke liye mere jazbaton ko aur bhi mazboot kar diya thaa chahe wo sambhavna na ke brobar thee. 

Jyadatar main raat ko kafi late sota thaa, yeh adat meri school dino se ban gayi thee jab main adhi raat takk padhayi karta thaa, college join karne ke baad se yeh aadat aur bhi pakki ho gayi thee. Mera jyadatar waqat computer par kaam karte guzarta thaa magar ma ke bare main wo jankari haasil hone ke baad, aur jab se mujhe is baat ka ehsaas huya thaa ke ma ka badan kitna kamuk hai wo kitni sexy hai, aur uski upsthiti main jo kamniy anand mujhe prapat hone laga thaa usase main ab tv dekhne ko trjeeh dene laga thaa. Main aksar drawing room main baith kar tv dekhta aur asha karta ke wo aayegi aur mujhe phir se wohi anand prapat hoga.

Ma ka dhyaan meri nayi dincharya ki aur jane main thoda waqat laga. Suru suru main wo kabhi kabhi sanyog se wahan aa jati aur thoda waqar baithati, aur tv par mer sath kuch dekhti. Magar jalad hi wo niymit taur par mere sath baithne lagi. Magar wo kabhi bhi lambe smay takk nahi baithati thee magar itna samay kafi hota thaa ek sukhad ehsas ke liye. Mujhe laga wo ghar main apni mojudagi ka kisi ko ehsas karwana chahti thee

Raat ko jane ke time uski wishes kayi baar juwani hoti thee, wo halk se goodnight bol deti thee aur kayi bar wo halka sa hontho se hontho ka sparsh, wo ek sukha sa sparsh matar hota thaa aur mere khyal se wo kisi bhi prakar chumban keh kar nahi pukara ja sakta thaa. Jo garmahat mujhe pehle pehale ma ke chumban se hoti thee wo samay ke sath unki aadat hone se jati rahi. Un chumbano main na koyi asar hota thaa aur na hi unka koyi khas matlab hota thaa. Wo to siraf hamare vida lene ki opcharkita matar thee, ek esi opcharkita jiski mujhe koyi khas parwah nahi thee.

Main apni purani dincharya ki aur laut gaya aur apna sara samay phir se apne computer pe bitane laga. Ab adhi raat takk tv dekhne main wo maza hi nahi thaa jaisa pehle aya karta thaa. Ma ko mere faisle ki malumat nahi thee. Pehle hi din jab usne mujhe drawing room se ndarad paya to wo mere room main mujhe dekhne ko aayi.

“aaj tv nahi dekhoge kya”

“nahi, mujhe apna project poora karna hai” maine bahana banaya.

“oh!” wo thodi nirash lagi, kam se kam mujhe to aisa hi jaan pada.

Kehne ke liye aur kuch nahi thaa, magar wo abhi jana nahi chahti thee. Wo bed ke kinare par baith gayi aur table par se ek magazine uthakar uske panne paltane lagi. Main busy hone ka natak karta raha, aur wo chupchap magazine main khoyi rahi. Kuch der baad maine use magazine vaapas rakhte suna. “Theek hai, main chalti hun” wo khadi hokar boli.

Maine apni kursi uski aur ghuma li aur keha, “mera kaam lagbhag khatam ho chuka hai ma, agar tum chaho to thodi der main hum tv dekhne chalte hain”

“nahi, nahi. Tum padahyi karo” Usne jwab diya aur meri taraf aayi. Ab yeh hissa kuch arath liye huya thaa.

Shaayad mera ye andaza galat ho ke mujhe drawing room main tv dekhte na pakar wo thoda nirash ho gayi thee, magar jab wo mujhse vida lene ke samay chumabn lene aayi to maine uske hav bhav main ek nischay dekha aur is baar mere man main koyi sandeh nahi thaa jaise juwani vida ki jegah wo chumban lekar koyi baat jatana chahti thee.

Main thoda aage ko jhuk gaya aur uske goodnight chumban ka intezar karne laga. Aam taur par wo thoda sa jhuk jar apne honth mere hontho se chuya deti thee. Uske hath uski kamar par hote the. Magar us raat usne apna dayan hath mere bayen kandhe par rakha aur phir mujhe wo chumban diya ya mera chumban liya. Maine ise mehaj itefaq mana aur ise koyi gupat ishara samgh kar iska koyi dusra arath nahi nikala. Karan yeh thaa ke main kursi par baitha huya thaa na ke sofe par, isiliye use balance ke liye mere kandhe par hath rakhna pada thaa. Magar wo chumban aaj kuch alag terah ka thaa, isme koyi shak nahi thaa.

Yeh koyi bahhut badi baat nahi thee, magar mujhe laga ke wo hamare ekkathe baithne, sath sath tv dekhne ki aas lagaye baithe thee, use kisi ke sath ki jaroorat thee. Shaayad wo hamare adhi raat takk drawing room ke sath ki aadi ho gayi thee aur mere wahan na hone par usase raha nahi gaya thaa. Mujhe uske chumban se uski nirasha jhalkati dikhayi di.

Tabhi woh khayal mere man main aaya thaa.

Agar uske liye chumban ka ehsaas badlana sambhav thaa to mere liye bhi sambhav thaa chahe kisi aur tarike se hi sahi.

Jitna jyada main is bare main sochta utna hii jyada iske natije ko lekar uttejit hota gyaa. Jab se maine use kehte suna thaa ke wo chudwane ke liye tadap rahi hai tabse mere andar ek jwala si dhadhak rahi thee. Us jwala ki lapten aur bhi tez ho jati jab wo mere sath akeli adhi raat takk tv dekhti thee. Uski phone wali baatchit se main janta thaa ke wo kabhi kabhi itni uttejit hoti thee ke use raat ko neend nahi aati thee. Mujhe lagta thaa ke jab jab wo adhi raat ko tv dekhne aati thee uski wohi halat hoti hogi, chahe mere karan nahi magar ati kamottejna ki halat main to wo hoti hi thee.

Agar us din bhi uski wohi halat thee jab wo mere sath thee to kya wo meri aur hasrat se dekhegi? Jaise main uski aur dekhta thaa? kya uske riday main bhi wohi aag jal rahi thee jo mere dil main jal rahi thee? Kya yeh sambhav thaa ke uske andar ki aag ko proksh roop se aur bhadka diya jaye take kam se kam wo meri aur kisi dusri bhavn se dekh sake jaise main uski aur dekhta thaa? Kya main uske dimag main wo vichar daal sakta thaa ke main uski samsayon ke samadhan ki ek sambahvna ho sakta hun, chahe wo siraf ek vichar hota isase jyada kuch nahi.

Mere liye in swalon ke jwab janane ka koyi sadhan nahi thaa, mera matlab ke agar main suruaat bhi karta to kahan se. Kayi baar mujhe lagta jaise main uski baichaini ko uski akulahat ko mehsoos kar sakta hoon magar wo siraf ek andaza hota. Main yakeen se kuch nahi keh sakta thaa. Koyi aisa rasta nahi thaa jisase ek ishara bhar hi mil jata je wo kaise mehsoo karti hai.

Uske chumban ne uski kuch bhavnayon se bagavat jaroor ki thee magar unka us sabh se koyi vasta nahi thaa jo main janana chaht thaa. Jaroor use nirasha huyi thee jab main uska sath dene ke liye wahan nahi thaa magar wo prabhav ek manovagyanik thaa. Use mera sath acha lagta thaa isliye uska nirash hona sambhav thaa jab uska beta use company dene ke liye wahan mojud nahi thaa. Main use kisi aur vejah se nirash dekhna achahta thaa. Chahe ek alag trike se hi sahi magar main ek jaroort poori kar raha thaa, ek bete ki terah nahi balke ek marad ki terah. Main wo janana chahta thaa. Main mehsoos karna chahta thaa ke jismani jaroorat poori karne ki sambhavnamagar hamare bich mojud thee, chahe wo siraf ek sambhavna hoti aur hum us par kabhi amal na karte.

Ab achanak se maine mehsoos kiya ke mere paas ek mauka hai kam se kam ye pata karne ka main kitne pani main hoon. Agar main chumban ko apni traf se kisi terah koyi alag roop de saku, use ek ishara bhar kar saku, use ek alag ehsas kara saku, us chingari ko jo usk andar dehak rahi thee hawa dekar ek marad ki terah bhadka saku na ke ek bete ki terah tab shaayad main ki sambhavna ka pata laga sakunga. 

Us raat main bahut bahut der takk sochta raha, aur ek yojna banane laga ke kis terah main hamari ratri ke chumbano main kuch badlav kar unme kuch ehsaas daal saku.

Jab main natije ke bare main alag alag dishayon se socha to uttejna se merathank you badan kampane laga. Ek taraf yehan main yeh soch kar bahut uttejit ho raha thaa ke agar maine apni yojna anusar kam kiya to uska natija kya hoga. Wahin dusri aur mujhe apni yojna ke vipreet natije se bhay bhi mehsoos ho raha thaa. Uski pratikirya ya to skaratamik ho sakti thee, jisme wo kuch esi pratikiriya deti jo is agg ko aur bhadka deti, ya phir uski pratikirya nkaratmak hoti jisase us sambhavana ke sabhi dwar hamesha hamesha ke liye band ho jate jo sambhavna asliyat main kabhi mojud hi nahi thee.

Ab yojna bahut hi sadharan si thee. Main uski suksham pratikirya ko ek ishara man kar chal raha thaa aur iske sath apne tarike se ek pryog karke dekhna chahta thaa. Chahe yeh kuch bewkoofana jaroor lag sakta thaa magar meri yojna se mujhe wo suyi mil sakti thee jo main us ghas phoos ke bhari dher se dhundh raha thaa

Jaisa ke main pehle hi keh chuka hun hamare ratri vida ke chumban hamesha sukhe, halke se aur namlum hone wale hontho ka hontho se sparash matar hote the. Agar–main khud se dohrata ja raha thaa—-Agar wo itne sukhe na rahen to? Main apne honth uske hontho par daba to nahi sakta thaa kyonki wo maryada ke khilaf hota lekin agar mere honth sukhe na rahen to? Agar usko hontho par mukhras ka ehsas hoga to? Tab uski pratikirya kya hogi? Kya wo iska jwab degi?!

Jitna jayada main apni yojna ko vyavharik roop dene ke bare main sochta raha utnana hi jyada main andolit hota gaya. Meri halat esi thee ke us raat main so bhi na saka, bas usase positive reaction milne ke bare main sochta raha.

Agki raat main plan ke mutabik tv ke aage thaa. wo aayi, jaisi main umeed lagaye baitha thaa ke wo aayegi aur mujhe wahan mojud dekhkar shaayad thodi excited hogi. Magar wo chehre se kuch bhi excitement ya khushi dikha nehi rahi thee, isase mujhe nirasha huyi aur apni yojna ko lekar main phir se sochne laga ke mujhe wo karna chahiye ja nahi magar nirash hone ke bavjood maine plan ko amal main lane ka faisla kiya. Hamesha ki terah hum kuch samay takk tv dekhte rahe, ant main wo boli, “mujhe sona chahiye beta! Raat bahut ho gayi hai”

” ok” maine jwab diya aur apne sukhe hontho par jaldi se jibh feri. 

Wo meri aur nahi dekh rahi thee jab maine apne hontho par jibh feri. Maine phir se char panch vaar aise hi kiya take honth achhe se gile ho jayen. Main hontho se laar nahi tapkana chahta thaa magar unhe itna gila kar lena chahta thaa ke wo us gilepan ko, mere ras ko mehsoos kar sake. Uske baad maine khud ko uski pratikiriya ke liye tyaar kar liya.

Mera dil bade zoron se dhadakane laga jab wo mere sofe ki aur aayi. Main thoda sa aage jo jhuk gaya take usko mere honthon takk pahunchane main asani ho sake. Main khud ko sanyyat karne ke liye mukh se saans lene laga jiske falsrup mere honth kuch sukh gaye. Maine jaldi jaldi jibh nikal hontho par feri take unhe phir se gila kar saku bilkul uske chumban se pehle, mujhe nahi malum usne mujhe aisa karte dekh liya tha ja nahi. 

Jab ma ke honth mere hontho se chuye to meri ankh band ho gyee. Mera chehra aavesh main jalte huye lal ho gaya thaa. Mujhe apni saans rokni padi, kyonki main nahi chahta thaa ke meri bhari ho chuki saans uske chehre pa itne zor se takraye.

Hontho ke gile hone se chumban ki sansanahat badh gayi thee. Yeh wo pehle wala aam sa, lagbhag na malum chalne wala hontho ka sparash nahi thaa. Aaj main hamare hontho ke sparsh ko bhali bhanti mehsoos kar sakta thaa, au mujhe yakeen tha usne bhi ise mehsoos kiya thaa.

Wo dhire se ‘goodnight’ phusphusayi aur apne room main jane ke liye mud gayi. Uski aur se koyi spashat pratikiriya nazar nahi aayi thee halanke mujhe yakeen thaa wo apne hontho par mera mukhras lekar gayi thee. Kuch bhi aisa asadharan nahi thaa jis par main ungli rakh sakta. Aisa lagta thaa jaise hamara wo chumban uske liye baki dino jaisa hi aam chumban thaa. Kuch bhi farak nahi thaa. Main use alag banana chahta thaa, aur umeed lagaye baitha thaa ke uska dhyaan us antar ki aur jayega magar nahi aisa kuch bhi nahi huya. Ab nirash hone ki bari meri thee. Jitna main pehle aaveshit thaa ab utna hi hatash ho gaya thaa.

Maine kisi sakratmak ya nakaratmak pratikiriya ki aasha ki thee. Apne bed pe leta huya main us raat bahut thaka huya, jazbati taur par nirash aur hatash thaa. Main kisi nkaratmak prtikiriya ko asani se swikar kar leta magar koyi bhi pratikiria na milne ki sthiti ke liye main bilkul bhi tyaar nahi thaa. Us raat jab main neend ke liye bed par karvaten badal raha thaa, to mera dhyaan apne lund par gaya jo mere josh se thoda akda huya thaa iske bavjood ke baad main mujhe nirasha hath lagi thee.

Meri nirasha agle din bhi mere sath rahi. Nirasha ke sath sath atamgilani aur sharam ka ehsaa ho raha thaa. Jo maine kiya thaa wo samaj, kudrat, maan mariyada ke khilaaf thaa isliye mere man main aisa karne ke liye pachtawe ka ehsaas bhi ho raha thaa. Aglli raat jab hamare drawing room main tv dekhne ka time ho gya to main lagbhag nahi jane wala thaa. Main shaayad apne kamre main hi rukta magar ye baat ke mere najanen se wo mere room main aa sakti hai maine tv room jane main hi bhlayi samjhi. Ab maine jo dhun banayi thee, uska saamna karne ka waqat thaa.

Uske vyabhaar main koyi bhi badlav dikhayi nahi de raha thaa Jo shaayad ek achi baat thee. Uski koyi bhi pratikiriya na dekh mujhe badi rahat huyi thee nake pichli raat ki terah jab uski koyi bhi pratikiriya na dekh main nirash ho gaya thaa. Mujhe ehsaas huya ke hamari dincharya main kisi tabdili ke liye main abhi tyaar nahi thaa. Maine achanak mehsoos kiya ke raat ko ma ke sath ekktthe samay bitane se mujhe bhi khushi milti hai. Is sath se ma ke dwara meri bhi ek zaroorat poori hoti thee chahe manovagyanik taur par hi sahi.

Maine hamare chumban main thoda sa badlav kar unko thoda thos banane ki koshish ki thee aur main aisa bina koyi sanket diye ja bina kuch jataye karne main safal raha thaa. Meri sharam aur atamgilani dhire dhire is rahat se gayab hone lagi ke main bina koyi keemat chukaye ja bina koyi saja paye saaf bach nikla thaa.

Halanke mere vartav main tabdili aa gayi thee. Mera usko dekhne ka nazriya badal gaya thaa. Use dekhte huye mujhe ab utni baichaini mehsoos nahi ho rahi thee. Maine ek kadam aur aage badha diya thaa aur usne mujhe na kosa tha thaa na hi koyi apatti jatayi thee. Us raat ma ko niharne main mujhe ek alag hi anand prapat ho raha thaa. Yeh baat yuda thee ke main yakeen se nahi keh sakta thaa ke jo kuch huya thaa use uski koyi bhanak bhi lagi thee.

Fir se wohi sabh kuch, hum baithe tv dekh rahe the , usne keha “beta! Main chalti huun, raat bahut ho gayi hai”. Is vaar maine apne honth gile nahi kiye. Chahe mujhe koyi nakaratmak pritikiriya nahi mili thee phir bhi maine raat ka tajuraba dohrane ki himmat nahi ki. Main aage ko hokar thoda sa jhuk gaya aur uske chumne ka intejar karne laga take main bhi apne room main ja saku aur us sukhad meethe ehsaas main khud ko dubo saku jiski lehren mere jism main ghoom rahi heen.

Uske honth rojana ki terah mere hontho se chuye jisme mere mehsoos karne eke liye kuch bhi khaas nahi thaa.

Magar maine kuch mehsoos kiya, kuch halka sa, alag sa.

Yeh bilkul halka sa thaa, lagbhag na mehsoos hone wala. Mere dilo dimag main koyi sandeh nahi thaa ke maine uske hontho ko halke se, bilkul halke se sikudate mehsoos kiya thaa. Jaise hamare honth kisi ke gaal par chumban lete huye sikudate hain theek vaise hi lekin bahut mahin se. Ye meri ma ka hontho se hontho ka sparsh nahi thaa balke ek chumban thaa. Yeh pehli baar thaa jab ma ke hontho ne mere hontho par koyi halchal ki thee.. Aam halaton main, main ise uske hontho ka asamay sikudana maan kar radd kar deta magar ye kudrati taur par hone ki vajaye svaichchik jayada jaap raha thaa. Ek halka chumban hone ke ilawa ek hlka sa, mahin sa dwab bhi thaa jo uske hontho ne mere hontho par lgaya thaa.

Agle din bhar main bahut pareshan raha. Main bas yehi soche ja raha thaa ke yeh vastav main huya thaa ja yeh sabh meri klapana ki upaj thee kyonki main pehle se kuch acha hone ki umeed lagaye baitha thaa. Kya wo bhi meri terah hamare chumban ko aur jyada gehra banana chahti thee ya phir iske ulat wo chumban ko aur gehra hone se rokne ki mehaj koshish kar rahi thee jaise mere hontho ke gilepan ne jo ehsas hamare chumban main bhara thaa wo usko rokna chahati hogi jisase hontho ko sikodne se wo shaayad pakka kar rahi thee ke uske hontho ka kam se kam hissa mere hontho ko chuye.

Apni jigyasa shant karne ke liye jaroori thaa ke main ise ek baar phir se mehsoos karta. Mujhe uske sath kal raat jaisi sthiti main hona thaa aur is baar main hamare subh ratri chumban ki har tafseel par poora dhyaan dene wala thaa. Main is baat par bhi tarak vitark kar raha thaa ke mujhe apne honth gil karne chahiye ja nahi magar isase halaton main badlav ho jata. Mujhe kal hi ki terah aaj bhi apne honth sukhe rakhne the aur phir dekhna tha ke uske honth kaya kamal dikhate hain!

Wo sham aur raat suru hone ka samay aur bhi baichaini bhara thaa, magar utna baichaini bhara nahi thaa jitna jab hum tv dekh rahe the, tab thaa jab main apne subhratri chumban ka intezar kar raha thaa aur samay lag reh thaa jaise tham gaya ho. Wo intezar bhut kashatdayi thaa.

Magar ant main uske jane ka samay ho gaya au hamare ratri vida ke us chumban ka bhi.

Main hamesha ki terah aage ko jhuk gaya. Maine apni ankhe band kar leen take main apna poora dhyaan us chumban par kendrit kar saku.

Maine uske honth apne hontho par mehsoos kiye.

Magar maine uske hontho ka koyi bhi dwab apne hontho par mehsoos nahi kiya jaisa maine pichli raat mehsoos kiya thaa. Usne apne honth bhi nahi sikode jaise usne pichli dafa kiya thaa.

Magar phir bhi kuch alag thaa, kuch antar thaa. Mera upar ka honth uske band hontho ki ghrayi main asani se phisal gaya.

Jaahir thaa is baar usne apne honth gile kiye the.

Ab yeh matar ek sanjog thaa ja phir usne janbujhkar unhe gila kiya thaa, main kuch nahi keh sakta thaa kyonki maine use apne honth gile karte nahi dekha thaa. Maine unka gilapan tabhi mehsoos kiya thaa jab wo mere hontho chuye the. Main yeh maan kar nahi chal sakta thaa ke usne aisa jaanbujhkar kiya thaa, chahe usne aisa jaanbujhkar kiya ho to bhi. Magar ek baat tayy thee; agar usne unhe janbujhkar gila kiya thaa to iska matlab wo bhi hamare ratri chumban ko aur thos banana chahti thee, usme aur jayada gehrayi chahti thee, theek vaise hi jaise maine koshish ki thee hamare chumban ko aur gehra banane ki, usme aur ehsaas jagane ki.

Main uske hontho ki nami apne hontho par mehsoos kar sakta thaa bbalke jab baad main maine apne honth chate to uska swad bhi le sakta thaa. Main soch raha thaa ke kya usne bhi mere hontho ka gilapan aise hi mehsoos kiya thaa aur kya usne bhi uska swad chakha thaa jise maine uska chakha thaa. Kya usko bhi mera mukhras meetha laga thaa jaise uska mukhras mujhe mitha laga thaa. Main uske jane ke kafi samay baad takk apne hontho ko chatata raha take chumban ka wo swad aur sansnahat bani rahe.

Meri ma ne mujhe subhratri ke liye nahi chuma thaa. Meri ma ne mujhe asliyat main chuma thaa chahe bahut halke se hi sahi. Chahe wo janbujhkar kiya thaa chahe wo siraf ek sanjog thaa, meri jangho ke bich paththar ki terah kathor lund ko us antar ka pata nahi thaa. Us raat mujhe neend bahut der baad aayi kyonki mujhe buri terah akade lund ke sath sona pada thaa.

Hairat ki baat thee ke agle din mujhe sharam aur atamglani ka ehsaas pehle ki tulna bahut kam ho raha thaa. Maine apni sagi ma ke karan huyi apni uttejna ko swikar liya thaa aur uske karan hone wali apni uttejna ko lekar ab sant thaa. Apni ma ke bare main esi bhavnayen rakhna sahi thaa—- jab takk ke wo siraf mere dimag takk simat thee. Halanke hamare bich hani rahit mann ko gud-gudane wala ek khel chal raha thaa, magar antetah yeh ek khel hi thaa, mujhe nahi lagta thaa ye bahut aage takk badhega. Akhirkar wo meri ma thee. Main uske karan uttejit ho sakta thaa aur shaayad isme kuch galat nahi thaa. Magar main uske sath wo sabh nahi kar sakta thaa, jo ek mrad meri ma jaisi sundar, kamuk aur madakata se bharpoor nari ke sath karna chahega. Hamara rishta iski ijajat nahi deta thaa.

Chahe hum dono ne ek dusre ko gile hontho se chuma thaa, magar ye hamare bich kuch badlane ke liye nakafi thaa. Agar usne bhi apne honth svaichcha se gile kiye the to humne yeh maan kar aisa kiya thaa ke dusre ko hamari mansha ki malumat nahi hai, aur humne yeh sambhavit asivkarta ke tehat kiya thaa. Matlab agar humme se ek aitraj jatata to dusra bholepan ka natak kar saaf saaf mukar sakta thaa ke hamare un chumbano main usne kuch bhi joda hai aur wo siraf ma bete ke bich sadharan ‘goodnight’ chumban hain. Hum us seema pe halka sa dwab bana rahe the magar asliyat main hum yeh kabhi kabool nahi kar sakte the ke hum seema par koyi dwab daal rahe the. Kuch tha to jaroor magar hum us kuch ko theek se padh nahi pa rahe the. Aur hum us kuch par amal to bilkul bhi nahi kar sakte the. Jis pal humame ek us kuch par amal karta to dusra khudbakhud usase bhag khada hota. Yehi hamari niyati thee.

Maine apne prayog ko kuch aur main viksit hone ki umeed nahi ki thee. Yeh har rerah se ek hanirahit prayog thaa jo hamare tanha dilon ko raat ke akelepan main thoda gudguda sakta, humame thoda josh bhar sakta, nason main behte thande khoon main thodi garmi la sakta magar yeh kuch bada hone ki bhumika nahi ban sakta thaa. Wo meri ma thee aur main uska beta thaa. Kudrat ki aur se maryada ki rekha khinchi gayi thee aur wo rekha kabhi bhi paar nhi ki ja sakti thee—kabhi bhi nhi.

Main thoda sa udas aur kuch nirash thaa is soch se ke us rekha ko kabhi paar nahi kiya ja sakta. Jaroor hamare pass ek dusre ko dene ke liye kuch thaa magar hum wo dusre ko de nahi sakte the. Main bina kisi spasht karan khud ko hatash mehsoos kar raha thaa aur dil par itna bojh mehsoos ho raha thaa ke agle din main tv dekhne bhi nahi gaya.

EK baar phir se main apne room main hi raha. Asliyat main, main uska dhyaan aur bhi pni aur khinchna chahta thaa, kyonki mujhe yakeen thaa ke tv room main meri anupsthiti ki aur uska dhyaan jayega aur wo jaroor koshih karegi dikhane ki ke use hamare raat ke sath ki kami mehsoos ho rahi hai. Asliyat main, main ek parman ke liye taras raha thaa ke use bhi hamare sath ki bahut jaroorat hai.

Wo mujhe dekhne ayi, jaisie maine umeed ki thee ke wo aayegi, jaise mera dil chahta thaa ke wo aaye.

Main apne computer par kam nahi kar raha thaa isliye pichli baar ka bahana nahi bana sakta thaa. Main bed par bitha huya thaa aur soch raha thaa.

“Beta tum theek to ho” usne naram swar main pucha.

“Haan, main theek hun ma. Bas thodi thakawat si mehsoos ho rahi hai” 

Wo thodi asmanjas main nazar aa rahi thee. Main leta huya nahi thaa jaisa ke muhe hona chahiye thaa agar main vaakayi main bahut thaka huya hota. Main to bas bed par aram se baitha huya thaa. Uske chehre par chinta ke badal mandrane lage aur main bata nahi sakta thaa ke wo chinta kis vishay main kar rahi hai. Main uske haab-bhav padhne ki koshiah ar teha thaa ke shaayad mujhe kuch sanket mil jaye. Magar mujhe kuch na mila.

Mujhe aisa lag jaise wo kuch kehna chahti thee mgar wo alfaz kehne ke liye wo khud ko tyaar na kar saki. Main bhi kuh kehna chahta thaa magar kya kahun ye meri samagh main nahi aa raha thaa. Antetah wo door ki au mudi aur bina goodnight bole jane lagi. 

Uska is terah bina kuch bole jana khud main ek khas baat thee. Main shaayad uske sath jyadati kat raha thaa. Maine usko is samasaya se ubarne ka faisla kiya. Maine khud ko bhi is samasya se bach nikalne ka mauka diya.

“Agar tum thoda sa samay dogi to main abhi aata huun. Phir milkar tv dekhenge ma” Hamari dubidha, hamara sankoch, hamari sharam, agar hum ye sabh mehsoos karte the to ise katam karne aur vaapas pehle wale hlaton main lautane ka sabse badhiya tarika yehi thaa ke hum sabh kuch bhul kar aise vartav karte jaise kuch huya hi na ho.

Maine dekh sakta thaa ke uske kandhon se ek bhari bogh utar gaya thaa kyonki wo ekdam se khil uthi thee, mujhe bhi ekdam se achha mehsoos hone laga. Pichli raat kuch bhi ghatit nahi huya thaa. Humne kuch bhi nahi kiya thaa, aur humne galat to bilkul bhi kuch nahi kiya thaa.

Humne tv on kiya. Is baar humne ek do vishyon par halki fulki baten bhi ki. Kisi karan hamare bich pehle ke mukable jyada hel-mel thaa. Hum men kuch dostana ho gya thaa. Halanke hamara ratri milan chota thaa magar pehle ke muqabke jyada arathpuran thaa. Humne ise ek dusre ko goodnight bol khatam kiya aur ek dusre ke hontho pe halka sa chumban liya- ek halka, sukha aur namalum padne wala chumban. Uske baad hum dono apne apne kamron main chale gaye. 

Uske baad ke ane wale dino main maine uske chumban ke us meethe swad ko apni yaadashat main taza rakhne ki bahhut koshish ki. Humne apni rozana ki jindagi vaise hi chalu rakhi jisme hum ikaththe baithkar tv dekhte, kuch batchit karte aur phir raat ka ant ek ratri chumban se karte- ek halke, sukhe aur namalum chalne wale chumbn se. 

Main itna zaroor kahunga ke hamare bich gile chumbano ke pehle ki tulna main ab hel-mel badh gaya thaa. Hamare bich ek aisa sambandh viksit ho raha thaa jisne humen aur bhi karib la diya thaa. Hum ab vaastav main ek dusre se aur ek dusre ke bare main khul kar jyada baatchit karne lage the. Aisa lagta thaa jise uske paas kehne ke liye bahaut kuch thaa kyonki main bahut der takk baitha uski baten sunta rehta jo aam taur par rojmarra ki jindgi ki sadharan ghatnayon par hoti theen. 

Ab is padav par main do cheezen jaroor batana chahunga. Pehli to yeh ke bina apne pita ka dhyaan khinche hamare liye ye kaise mumkin thaa itna samay eksath bita pana? Dusra, apni dincharya uski pitaji ke sath dincgarya se alag rakhna hamare liye kaise mumkin thaa? 

Hamara ghar english ke u-shap ke akar main bana huya hai. Mere pitaji ka bedroom left leg ke akhiri kone pe hai, jabke kitchen right leg ke akhiri kone pe hai. Kitchen ke baad drawing room hai jisme hum tv dekhte hain. Drawing room ke baad mera kamra hai. Mere kamre ke baad ek aur kamra hai. Uske baad pitaji ke side wali left leg suru hoti hai, jehan ek kamra hai aur uske baad mere mata pita ka bedroom. Mere pitaji ki side ke corridor main ek bada glass door thaa jo ek verandeh main khulta thaa jiske dusre sire par meri taraf ke corridor aur kitchen ke bicho bich thaa. Din ke samay ma apne corridor se us glaas door ka istemal kar kitchen main aati jati thee. Raat ke samay verandeh ke door band hote the isliye pehle use kitchen se drwing room jana padta thaa aur wahan se corridor main jo mere room ke samne se guzarta thaa phir mere room ke sath wala kamra, phir dusri teraf ka kamra aur ant main pitaji ka kamra. 

Pitaji ke kamre se drawing room ki doori kafi lambi thee jisas unke liye ghar ki is side par kaya ho raha hai, sun pana ya dekh pana namumkin thaa. Hum kam awaz main bina unko pareshan kiye tv dekh sakte the ja baatchit kar sakte the kyonki tv ki awaz kabhi bhi un takk nahi pahunch sakti thee aur na hi tv ja kitchen ki light unke liye pareshani ka sbab ban sakti thee. Iske bawjood hum apni awaz bilkul dheemi rakhte ta ke wo jaag na sake. Hamen dekhne ka ek hi tarika thaa ke wo khud drawing room main chlkar aate magar mere mata pita ke paas unki ek apni choti fridge thee aur sath hi main chai aur coffee maker bhi unke paas thaa. Isliye jab wo khane ke baad ek baar apne kamre main chale jate the to unko kabhi bhi is aur vaapas aane ki jaroorat nahi padti thee. 

Main subeh college jata thaa. College se dopehar ko lautata thaa aur phir rat ko tution jata thaa jabke mere pita subah aath se panch takk kaam karte the. Wo subah che baje ke karib nikalate the kyonki unko thoda door jana padta thaa. Wo sham ko saat baje ke karib laut aate, khana khate, kuch time tv dekhte aur lagbhag nau baje ke karib apne room main chale jate. Jab main tution se vaaas aata tab takk pitaji so chuke hote. Main naha dhokar khana khata aur phir tv dekhne baith jata jisme ab meri ma bhi mera sath nibhane aa jati. Isase meri ma ko itna smay mil jata ke uski dincharya ka ek hissa pitaji ke sath guzarta aur dusra hissa wo mere sath tv dekh kar guzarati. Is dincharya se use na to pitaji ki chinta rehti aur na hi jald sone ki.

Jaise jaise main aur meri ma dono jyada se jyada samay ek sath bitane lage, dhire dhire hamari aatmiyta badhne lagi. Kabhi kabhi ma usi sofe par baithati jis par main baitha hota, halanke wo dusri taraf ke kone par baithati. Yeh siraf samay ki baat thee ke humame se koyi ek phir se hamare chumbano main kuch aur jodne ki koshish karta. Ab swal yeh thaa ke pehal kaun karega aur dusra uska jwab kaise dega. 

Ek vaar weekend par mere pitaji ek seminar main hissa lene sehar se bahar gaye huye the. Unke jane se hum ek dusre ke sath aur bhi khul kar pesh aa rahe the. Main ek nayi film bazaar se kharid laya. Hum dono aram se befikar hokar film dekh rahe the kyonki aaj usko jane ki koyi jaldi nahee thee. Hum dono us raat aur raton ki tulna main bahut der takk ek dusre ke sath baithe rahe. Jehan takk ke din main kharidi film khatam hone ke baad hum tv par ek dusri film dekhne lage. Us raat vakayi hum bahut der takk drawing room main baithe rahe. Ant main khud maine, na ke ma ne keha ke ab humen sona chahiye. 

Maine dvd player se dvd nikali usko uske cover main vaapas dala aur phir;tv band kar diya. Jabke wo kitchen main jhuthe bartan sink main daalne lagi take subeh ko unhe dho sake. 

Abb jaisa ke main pehle hi bata chuka hun hamare ghar ke corridor drawing room se suru hote the, sabse pehle mere room ke saamne se guzarate the, uske baad do guest room aur ant main uske bedroom pe jakar khatam hota thaa.

Maine drawing room ka verandah main khulne wala door band kiya jabke usne kitchen aur drawing room ki lights band ki. Uske baad hum neem andhere main chalte huye corridor main aa gaye. 

Aam taur par hamare ratri chumabn ke samay main sofe par baitha thoda aage ko jhukta thaa aur wo mere saamne khadi hokar niche jhuk kar mere hontho par chumban deti thee magar us din wo us jegah hona thaa jehan corridor se wo apne room main chali jati aur main apne room main jo ke mere bedroom ke saamne hona thaa. Hum dono mere bedroom ke darwaje ke aage ek dusre ko subhratri bolne ke liye ruk gaye. Ab humen wo chumban hum dono ke ek dusre ke saamne khade hokar karna thaa jsme ke use apna chehra upar ko uthana thaa jabke mujhe apna chehra niche ko jhukana thaa.

Us chumban ki aatmiyta aur gehrayi pehle chumbano ke muqabale khud ba khud badh gayi thee, raat ke andhere ki sarsarahat use rahasaypuran bana rahi thee. Hum itne karib the ke main uske mummon ko apni chati ke nazdik mehsoos kar sakta thaa, yeh pehl vaar thaa jab hum aise itne karib the. Mujhe nahi malum ke uske mumme vakayi mujhe chu rahe the ja nahi magar wo meri pasliyon ke bahut karib the, bahut bahut karibi! Uske mumme hain hi itne bade bade!

Hum dono ne us din kafi waqat eksath guzara thaa, khub maza kia thaa, ek dusre ke sath ka bahut anand mila thaa. Man main anand ki tarange phoot rahi thee aur jo atamglani maine pichle gile chumbano ko lekar mehsoos ki thee wo poori terah se gayab ho chuki thee. Mahol ki ronanchikta main tab aur bhi ijafa ho gaya jab usne apna hath (asavdhani se) mere bayen baju par sahare ke liye rakh diya.

Jab usne upar takk pahunchane ke liye khud ko upar ki aur uthaya to maine nishchit taur pe uske bhari mummo ko apni chati se ragadate mehsoos kiya. Maine khud ko ekdam se uttejit hote nehsoos kiya aur phir na jane kaise, khud ba khud meri jivha bahar nikli aur mere hotho ko poora gil kar diya jab wo uske hontho ko lagbhag chune wale the. Wo mujhe itne andhere main honth gile karte nahi dekh payi hogi.

jaise hi hamare honth ek dusre se chuye, pratikiriya main khud ba khud uska dusra hath mere dusre baju par chala gaya aur ise sanket man mere hontho ne khud ba khud uske hontho par halka sa dwab badha diya.

Yeh ek chota sa chumban thaa magar lambe samay takk apna asar chodne wala thaa.

Uske honth bhi nam the. Usne unhe nam kiya thaa jaise maine apne honth nam kiye the. Kyonki main uske upar jhuka huya thaa, isliye jab hamare honth aapas main mile aur unhono ek dusre par halka sa dwab dala to dono ki saghi nami ke karan uska upar ka honth mere hontho ki gehrayi main fisal gaya jabke mera niche wlaa honth uske hontho ki gehrayi main fisal gaya. Aur sehajata se dono ne ek dusre jke hontho ko apne hontho main samete rakha. Maine uska mukhras chakha aur wo bhut hi meetha thaa. Mujhe yakeen thaa usne bhi mera mukhras chakha thaa. 

Jaise hi usko ehsaas huya ke hamara subhratri ka wo hala sa chumban ek asli chumban main tabdeel ho chuka hai to wo ekdamse pareshan ho uthi. Uske hathon ne mujhe dheere se door kiya aur usne apna mukh mere mukh se door hata liya. Hamara chumban thoda hadbadi main khatam huya, wo dheere se goodnight budbudayi aur jaldi jaldi apne room ko nikal gayi. 

Main kam se kam wahan das minute khada raha hoyunga phir thoda hosh aane par khud ko ghsitata apne bedroom main gaya aur jakar apne be par lait gaya.

Mere liye yeh svabhavik hi thaa ke main agle din kuch bura mehsoos karte huye jaagta. Humne ek dusre ko aise chuma tha jaisa hamare rishte main bilkul bhi svikarya nahi tha aur fir yeh baat ke wo lagbhag whan se bhaagte huye gayi thee, se sabit hota thaa ke humne kuch galat kiya thaa. Mujhe samagh nahi aa raha thaa ke hum ek dusre ka saama kaise karenge

Hum ise ek bura haadsa maan kar bhul sakte the aur apni zindagi ki aur laut sakte the, magar asliyat main yeh koyi haadsha nahi thaa. Humne ise svaichcha se kiya thaa isme koyi shak nahi thaa.

Maine vaastav main apni sagi ma ko chuma thaa aur wo janti thee ke maine use jis terah chuma thaa vaise main use chum nahi sakta thaa. Yeh baat ke wo lagbhag wahan se bhagti huyi gayi thee, sabit karti thee ke mera use chumna galat thaa aur wo khud yeh janti thee ke yeh galat hai isliye usne is par vahin viram laga diya isase pehle ke hum is raaste par aur aage badhte.

Magar humne is samasaya se nijat paane ka asan tarika chuna. Humne aise dikhava kiya jaise kuch huya hi nahi thaa. Vaise bhi aisa kuch kaise ghat sakta thaa? Wo meri ma thee aur main uska beta. Kuch galat nahi ghat sakta thaa. Jo bhi pachtawa thaa ja saram thee wo siraf hamari chanchalata aur shararat ki vejah se thee. 

Mujhe jalad hi samagh main aa gaya ke insani dimag ki yehi fitrat hoti hai ke wo kisi galti ki vejah se hone wali atamglni ko yehi keh kar taal deta hai ke galti ki vejah avashayanbhvi thee. Humne ek sukhad, atmiyata se bharpoor sham bitayi thee isliye yeh svabhavik hi thaa hum ek dusre ko khud ke itne nazdik mehsoos kar rahe the ke wo chumban svabhavik hi thaa. Iske ilawa itna gehra andhera thaa ke humen kuch dikhayi bhi to nahi de raha thaa. 

Jab ek baar pachtawe ki bhavna dil se nikal gayi aur us ‘shararat’ ko nyayochit tehra diya gaya to mere liye ma ko nayi roshni main dekhna bahut mushkil nahi reh gaya thaa. Main vakayi main ma ko ek nayi roshni main dekh raha thaa. Main use aise roop main dekh raha thaa jiski aur pehle kabhi mera dhyaan hi nahi gaya thaa.

Maine dhyaan diya ke wo naye aur adhunik kapdon ki tulna main purane kapdon main kahin jyada achhi lagti hai. Wo nayi aur mehangi skirts ki tulna main apni purani fiki pad chuki jeans main kahin jayada achchi dikhti thee. Wo blouse ke muqable t-shirt main main jyada sundar lagti thee. Uske baal choti main bandhe jyada achche lagte the na ke jab wo hair saloon se koyi style banva kar aati the. Yehan jis khas bindu ki aur main ishara karna chahta hun wo yeh hai ke wo mujhe vastav main bahhut sundar nazar aane lagi thee—–ek sundar nari ki terah.

Ma kaisi dikhti hai, main isme khasi dilchapsi lene laga. Meri nazren chori chori uske badan ka muyana karne lagi jaise wo mujhe sundar nazar aane wali kisi sundar ladki ka karti. Mujhe ma ko, uske badan aur uske badan ki vishestayon ka is terah chori chori avlokan karne main bahut anand aane laga. Wo mujhe har din jyada, aur jyada sundar dikhne lagi aur main bhi khud ko aksar uttejit hote mehsoos karne laga.

Ma ki taraf se bhi kuch badlav dekhne ko mil raha thaa. Maine mehsos kiya ke wo ab jyada hansmukh ho gayi thee. Wo pehle ki apeksha jyada muskrati thee, uski chaal main kuch jyada lachak aa gayyi thee, aur to aur maine use kayi baar kuch gungunate bhi suna thaa. Uske svbhav main hamari ‘us maze ki raat’ ke baad nishchit taur par badlav aa gaa thaa. Chahe usne us raat mujhe door hata diya thaa aur jo kuch hamare bich ho raha thaa use rok diya thaa iske bavjood hamare bich gnishtata pehle ke muqable badh gayi thee. Hum ek dusre ke nazdik aa gaye the- adhyatmik drishtise bhi aur sarirak drishti se bhi. 

Wo mujhe achchi lagne lagi thee aur maine use ek do maukon par bola bhi thaa ke wo bahut achchi lag rahi hai. Usne bhi do teen baar meri prashansa ki thee, matlab ek terah se mujhe vishwas dilaya thaa ke hamare bich jo kuch bhi ho raha thaa vo dono aur se thaa na ke siraf meri aur se. Kam se kam meri soch anusar to aisa hi thaa, main poora din ma ke khayalon main hi gum rehne laga thaa. Ek din umang main maine uske liye chocolates bhi kharide.

Maine uske mumme dekhne ke har mouke ka fayada uthaya. Uske mumme itne badhiya, itne bade-bade aur itne sundar the ke mera man unki prashansa se bhar uthta. Ho sakta hai is baat ka talukk is baat se ho ke kabhi un par mera haq thaa magar wo the bahut sundar. Main nahi janta uska dhyaan meri nazar par gaya ke nahi magar agar usne dhyaan diya thaa to usne meri tank jhank ko svikar kar liya thaa aur iski aadi ho gayi thee.

Mera dhyan uski peeth par bhi gaya jab bhi wo mujse vipreet disha ki aur mukh kiye hoti. Uski peeth bahut hi sundar thee. Uski gand ka akar bahut dilkash thaa, ubhari huyi aur gol matol, bahut hi madak thee. Aur use us madak gand ka istemal karn bhi khoob aata thaa. Uuski chaal main esi kamuk si lachak thee ke main aksar usase sammohit ho jata thaa.

Ek din mujhe dekhne ka achcha mauka mila, mera matlab poori terah khul kar uska chehra dekhne ka mauka. Wo kuch kar rahi thee aur uski ankhe kahin aur zamin huyi theen, is terah se ke wo mujhe apni aur ghurte nahi dekh sakti thee. Maine uska chehra, uske gaal, uske honth aur uski thodhi dekhi aur mera man uski sundarta se mohit ho utha. Maine dhyaan diya ke ma ke honth badi khubsurati se gadhe huye the jo apne aap main bahut madak the. Unhe dekh kar chumne ka man hota thaa. Inse hamare chumbano ko lekar meri bhavnayen aur bhi praghad ho gayi theen Jab mere dil main yeh khayal aaya ke hamare ratri chumbano ke samay yehi wo honth the jinhe mere hontho ne sparash kiya thaa. Wo yaad aate hi munh main pani aa gaya. 

Maine is baat par bhi dhyan diya ke wo bahut pyari, bahut akarshak hai. Wo aksar kuch n kuch aisa karti thee ke main abhibhut ho uthta. Kitchen main kuch galat ho jane par jis terah wo munh fulati thee, jab kabhi kisi kaam main vyasat hone par phone ki ghanti bajti thee aur uski tyorian chadh jati theen, jab wo bagiche main kisi fool ko dekhkar muskrati thee. Mujhe usme ek bahut hi pyari aur bahut hi sundar nari nazar aane lagi thee.

Jitna jyada meri usme dilchapsi badhti gayi utna hi jyada main uske prem main pagal hota gaya. ‘Pagal’ yehi wo lagaz hai jo main samjhata hun meri halat ko sahi bayan kar sakta hai. Magar main nahi janta thaa ke uski bhavnayen kaisi thee ja wo kya mehsoo karti thee.

Yeh jaise avashyanbhavi thaa ke mere pita ko phir se sehar se bahar jana thaa aur lagta thaa jaise wo isi mouke ka intezar kar rahi thee. Is baar khud usne hamare raat ko dekhne ke liye film khiridi thee aur main us film ko uske sath dekhne ke liye sehmat thaa. Humne raat ke khane ko bahar ke ek restran se mangwaya aur dono ne eksath us khane ka bahut anand liya. Hum dono ne sofe par bithkar film dekhi, jisme main sofe ki ek taraf baitha huya thaa aur wo dusri taraf. Film khatam hone ke baad humne tv par thoda samay kuch aur dekha, ant main hum tv dekh dekh kar thak gaye. Apne kamron main jane ki humen koyi jaladbzi nahi thee aur na hi subhratri kehne ki koyi jaldbazi thee. Hum tabhi uthe jab aur baithna mushkil ho gaya thaa aur humen uthna hi thaa. 

Usne kitchen ki lights band ki aur darwaje chek kiye ke wo sahi se band hain ja nahi jabke maine dvd se film nikal kar uske cover main dali aur remotes ke sath dusari jegah rakhi aur sabhi electronik upkarno ko band kar diya. Pichli baar ki achanak aur rukhi smapti ke bavjood, hamare bich koyi atpatapan nahi thaa. Sabh kuch sahi, sehaj aur shant lag raha thaa. Jab hum drawing room se uthkar corriodor ki aur chalne lage to mera dil thodi tezi se dhadkane laga. Main aas lagaye baith thaa ke shaayad aaj phir se mujhe hamari aur raaton ke chumbano ki tulna main thoda gehra, thoda thos chumban lene ko milega. Hamari pichli raat jab mere pita ghar se bahar gaye huye the, bahut aatmiyata se guzari thee aur hamara subhratri chumban hamare aamtaur ke chmbno se jyada thos thaa. Main umeed kar raha thaa ke agar pichli raat se jyada nahi to kam se kam hamare chumban ki gehayi us raat jitni to hogi, main umeed kar raha thaa ke shaayad mujhe uske mukhras ka swad chakhne ko milega ja ho sakta hai mujhe uske hontho ke andruni hisse ko mehsoos karne ka mauka bhi mil jaye.

Chalte chalte jab hum mere bedroom ke door ke aage ruke, to mere dil ki dhadkane bahut tez ho gayi theen. Meri saanse ukhadne lagi theen. Magar haye! Usne mujhe kuch karne ka mauka nahi diya. Wo mere jyada nazdik bhi nhi aayi. Maine dhyaan diya usne hamare bich ek khas doori banaye rakhi thee. 

Mujhe bahut nirasha huyi. Usne hamare bich aatmiyta ko ek hadd takk rakhne ka jo faisla kiya thaa, mujhe uska samman karna thaa. Yeh mante huye ke hum dono main esi aatmiyta sambhav nahi ho sakti, uske liye apne honth sukhe rakhna asan thaa take wo chumban siraf subhratri ki subhkamna matar hota. Magar phir bhi kam se kam main, uske sath bitayi us sukad raat ke anand ki lehron main khud ko tairta mehsoos kar sakta thaa. Kam se kam hamara sath pehle ki tulna main jyada arathpuran thaa, jyada dostana ho gaya thaa.

Wo apne kamre main chali gayi aur main apne. 

Sabh kuch sahi thaa. Pehle bhi kuch galat ghatit nahi huya thaa aur na hi ab huya thaa. Yeh bahut badi rahat thee ke humne sham aur raat ka adhiktar samay ek sath bitaya thaa aur maryada ki rekha na to chuyi gayyi thee, na hi paar ki gayi thee aur na hi use mityaa gaya thaa. Aur humne pooa samay khub maza bhi kiya thaa! 

Main rahat mehsoos kar raha thaa aur shanti bhi ke humne milkar poora samay achche se bitaya thaa aur is baar use na to mujhe dhakelna pada thaa aur nahi apne room ki aur bhagna pada thaa. Hamara rishta lagta thaa aur bhi pripakav ho gaya tha jisne theek esi hi pichli raat ko huyi galtiyon se bahut kuch seekh liya thaa, aur sath hi un galtiyon ko nazarandaz karna bhi seekh liya thaa thaa.

Koyi pandreh bees minute baad mere darwaje par dastak huyi.

“Come in” main bola to usne darwaa khola aur andar dakhil huyi.

Usne kapde badal kar nightie pehan li thee aur tabhi mujhe ehsaas huya ke hamari raat bhinn hone ka ek karan yeh bhi thaa ke film dekhne ke smay usne jeans aur t-shirt pehni huyi thee na ke nightie jaise wo aam taur par raat ko hamare ikatthe samay bitane ke samay pehnati thee.

Maine use us nightie main pehle kabhi nahi dekha thaa. Wo dekhne main nayi lag rahi thee. Wo uske mummo par badi khubsurti se jhul rahi thee. Nightie ki doriyan use itni achche se nahi sambhale huyi theen jitne achche se uske mumme use sambhale huye the. Uske nange kadhe aur ardhnagan janghe meri ankho ke saamne apne poore shabab par thee aur uski patli si nightie se jhankta uska gadraya badan bahut kamuk lag reh thaa.

“Mujhe neend nahi aa rahi” wo boli. “Maine socha main tumhare sath thoda aur samay bita loon”

“Mujhe neend nahi aa rahi” wo boli “maine socha kyon na tumhare sath kuch aur samay bita loon”

Usne keha ke use neend nahi aa rahi aur mera dhyaan ekdam se uski us baat par chala gaya jisme usne keha thaa ke kabhi kabhi wo itni kamottejit hoti hai ke use neend bhi nahi aati. Kya yeh sambhav thaa ke meri ma us samay us pal kamottejit thee? Main janta thaa agar wo kamottejit hai to nishchit taur par meri vejah se hai. Yeh vichar ke meri ma mere karan itni kamottejit hai ke wo so bhi nahi sakti , ne mere andar jal rahi kamottejna ki aag ko aur bhadka diya.

“Haan, haan ma! Kyon nahi! Mujhe bahut achcha lagega. Mujhe khud neend nhi aa rahi!” Maine use keha.

“thanks” use mere jwab se kafi khushi mehsoos huyi lagti thee. Wo mere computer wali kursi par baith gayi. Mujhe aisa laga jaise wo kuch pareshan si hai. Wo kursi ko apne kulhon se dayin se bayin aur bayin se dayin aur ghumati mere kamre main idhar udhar dekkh rahi thee. Main apne bed par baitha bas use dekh raha thaa. wo mujhe nahi dekh rahi thee. 

Kuch samay baad usne pucha “Tumhe film kaisi lagi?” uski saans thodi si ukhadi huyi thee.

“Achi thee. Mujhe bahut maza aaya” maine use jwab diya. Mujhe ache se yaad thaa wo swal hum kuch samay pehle drawing room main ek dusre se puch chuke the magar phir bhi maine usase pucha “tumhe kaisi lagi ma”

Jab bhi wo kuch bolti to uski saans ukhadi huyi mehsoos hoti. Meri sath bhi ab yehi samasya thee, magar utni nahi jitni uske sath. Jab hum wahan khamoshi se baithe the tab mujhe dhyaan aaya ke usne mere sath siraf aur jyada samay hi nahi bitana balke uske man main iske ilawa aur bhi kuch thaa. Magar takleef is baat ki thee is ‘aur kuch’ ka koyi suruaati bindu nahi thaa. Main koyi galat andaza lagane ka khatra uthana nahi chahta thaa aur wo andaza lagane main meri madad karne ke liye apni taraf se koyi sanket koyi ishara kar nahi rahi thee. 

Main phir bhi khush thaa, wo wahan mere paas mojud thee aur main use us nightie main dekh pa raha thaa. uske mumme vakayi main bahut sundar the. Main unse apni nazren nahi hata pa raha thaa. mujhe tajub thaa agar usne dhyaanbdiya thaa ke kis terah meri nazren uske badan ki tareef kar rahi thee. Usne apni nazren farash par zamayi huyi thee aur apne panv mod kar kursi ke niche rakhe huye the. 

Ek baar jab khamoshi bardashat se bahr ho gayi , wo kursi se uth khadi ho gayi aur mere kamre ki diwar par lage posters ko dekhne lagi aur phir wo mere bookcase ko dekhne lagi jisme meri kuch kitaben padi theen. Uske kamre main tehlane se uski aur se kuch hawa meri taraf aayi aur wo hawa apne sath ek bahut manmohak si sungadh lekar aayi jise meri indriyon ne mehsoos kiya. Maine usase usi pal pucha “ma, tumne aaj naya perfume lagaya hai?” 

Wo meri taraf mudi. Uske chehre par muskrahat thee aur main nahi janta us muskrahat ka karan kaya thaa. lagta thaa jaise main bas uske badan par naye perfume ki pehchan karke hi use khush kar sakta thaa. “haan, naya hai. Tumhe achcha laga?” 

Uska swal svabhavik hi thaa. “Huun ma, bahut achcha hai” maine use jwab diya.

“Thanks” wo boli. Wo mere nazdik aayi, jo main yakeen se keh sakta hoon ke uski koshish thee ke main uske perfume ki mehak achche se le saku. Wo mere bed ke sath rakhe naightstand ke paas aayi to nightstand ke table lamp se nikalti roshni se uska jism naha utha. Tab jakar maine dhyaan diya ke uske chehre par halka sa shringar laga huya thaa.

Ab jakar mujhe ehsaas huya ke wo apne kamre main khud ko tyaar karne ke liye gayi thee kyonki use mere kamre main aana thaa. usne mere kamre main aane ki yojna pehle se bana rakhi thee aur aane se pehle usne khud ko thoda sa sajaya thaa, sanvara thaa. chetan ja achetan man se, usne koshish ki thee ke wo achchi lage, jaahir thaa usne mujhe achhi lagne liye kiya thaa. Aur yeh vichar ke usne is liye shringar kiya thaa ke mujhe sundar lag sake bahut bahut uttejak thaa, kamuk thaa. 

Hamare bich kuch ghat raha thaa. itna main poore vishwas se keh sakta thaa ke hamare bich kuch khas ghat raha thaa. Main uske perfume ki sugandh nazdik se lene ke bahane us par thoda sa jhuk sakta thaa aur ho sakta thaa hamare bich wo “kuch khas” hone ka suruati bindu ban jata. Magar mujhe tab sugha jab wo nightstand se door hatt gayi. Maine ek behatreen mauka ganva diya thaa jo shaayad usne mujhe khud diya thaa. 

Tab maine faisla kiya ke mujhe bed se uth jana chahiye aur uske thoda nazdik hone ki koshish karni chahiye, sahi main mujhe aisa hi karna chahiye thaa. Main janta thaa agar maine uske nazdik jane ki koshish ki to kuch na kuch hona tayy thaa. Mujhe ek bahana chahiye thaa uthne ka aur bed se utarne ka. Tab hum jismani taur par ek dusre ke karib aa jate aur kaun janta hai Tab kaya hota. Main siraf ek hi bahana bana sakta thaa; bathroom jane ka. 

Jab main bathroom se bahar aaya to dekha wo phir se usi kursi par baithi huyi hai aur mere bahar aane ka intezar kar rahi hai. Jis andaz main wo baithi thee, bada hi kamuk thaa. wo kursi ke kinare par baithi huyi thee, uske hath kursi ko aage se aur jangho ke bahar se pakde huye the, uski tange sidhi tani huyi thee, aur uska jism thoda sa aage ko jhuka huya thaa. uski nightie uske ghutno se thoda sa upar uthi huyi thee aur uski jangho ka kaafi hissa nagan thaa, uski janghe bahut hi sundar dikh rahi thee.

Mujhe apni almari tak jane ke liye uske paas se gujarnaa thaa. jab main uske paas se uske panv ke upar se guzra to maine uske panv ekdam se hilte dekhe jaise use mere itne paas se guzarne ke karan mere dwara kuch karne ki ashanka ho. Shaayad wo sparsh pana chahti thee. Us samay wo bahut hi madak lag rahi thee aur main use chune ke liye mara ja raha thaa.

Main bed par us sathan par baitha jo uski kursi ke bikul nazdik thaa. Ab hum ek dusre ke saamne baithe the aur hamare bich doori bahut kam thee. Mere panv lagbhag uske panv ko chu rahe the. Hum dono wahan khamoshi se baithe the kyonki hamare paas kehne ke liye kuch bhi nahi thaa. Kehte bhi to akhir kya kehte? Mahaul bahut hi pyarnuma thaa magar hum ek dusre se pyar jata nahi sakte the. Main aage badhkar uska hath nahi tham sakta thaa. Wo apni jegah se uthkar bed par mere sath nahi baith sakti thee. Hamare hilne dulne par jaise yeh ek bandhan laga huya thaa, jo humen wahan is terah baithaye huye thaa. Hum paththar ki murtiyon ki terah jadvat the aur umeed kar rahe the ke kuch ho aur humen is bandhan se chutkara mil jaye. 

Agar kuch ho sakta thaa to wo yehi thaa ke wo kehti;”mujhe ab chalna chahiye”

Main use jane nahi dena chahta thaa aur mujhe yakeen thaa wo bhi jana nahi chahti hai. Magar kahin par, man ke kisi andhere kone main ek awaz humen hamare us ratri sath ko wahin khatam kar dene ke liye baar baar agah ka rahi thee. Us mahol main bahut kuch ho jane ki sambhavna thee.

Usne siraf itna keha thaa ke use ab sone ke liye jana chahiye magar usne apni jegah se uthne ji koyi koshish na ki, wo waise hi baithi thee. Tab mujhe laga ke usne mujhe ek chota sa avsar diya hai. 

“Magar kyon? Tum kyon jana chahti ho ma?” Jab mere munh se wo lafaz nikle to main uski pratikiriya ko lekar dara hua thaa

Main dar raha tha kyonk mujhe lag raha thaa ke usne mujhe jo mauka diya hai wo achetan mann se diya hai, isliye ho sakta hai wo mere lafzo ke piche chipe mere maksad ko padh na paye. Main nahi chahta thaa ke wo jane ke liye samanay tarak de; ke wo thaki huyi hai ya use neend aa rahi hai ja raat bahut ho gayi gai. Main use yeh kehte huye sunana chahta thaa ke wo isliye jana chahti hai kyonki use dar thaa ke agar wo wahan aur jyada der tak ruki to kuch aisa ho sakta thaa jo nahi hona chahiye thaa.

Main janta thaa ke wo bhi is baat ko mehsoos kar sakti hai ke hamare bich kuch hone ki sambhavna hai, isliye wo yeh baat apne hontho par la sakti thee. Asal main khud mujhe koyi andaza nahi thaa ke agar wo wahan ruki to kaya ho sakta thaa. Hamare rishte ki maryada itni unchi thee ke us samay bhi, un halaton main wahan is terah uske samne baith kar main jyada se jyada ek madhur chumban ki umeed kar sakta thaa. Halanke meri pent main mera pathar ki trrah tana huya lauda is baat ki gwahi bhar raha thaa ke agar wo jyada der wahan rukti to kya kaya ho sakta thaa.

Mera lauda tana huya thaa! Main kamounmad main jal raha thaa! Aur main kabool karta hun ke meri is halat ki vejah mei ma thee, magar rona bhi isi baat ka thaa ke wo keri ma thee.

Main janta thaa ke uski halat bhi kuch kuch mere jaise hi hai. Hum ek dusre ke itne paas paas baithe the ke ek dusre ke jsm ki garmi ko mehsoos kar sakte the. Magar is dharti par jite ji yeh namumkin thaa ke hum apni uttejna ki us halat ko ek dusre ke smne svikar kar lete, ja ek dusre ko is bare main koyi ishara kar sakte ja vastav main hum apni uttejna ko lekar kuch kar sakte.

Usne meri baat ka jwab bhut der se diya. Wo apne pairon pa nazar tikaye phusphasayi, “mujhe nahi malum”

Mujhe laga ke anukul pristhition main uska jwab ekdam sahi thaa. Usne un chand lafzon main bahut kuch keh diya thaa.

“Yehan par hamare siva aur koyi nahi hai” maine bhi phusphasa kar keha. Meri baat sidhi si thee, magar un halaton ke maddenazar unke mayne bahut gehre the.

“Lekin agar main rukti bhi hoon to hum karenge kaya?” Uska jwab bahut jaldi aur sehjata se aaya magar mujhe nahi lagta thaa ke vastav main un lafzon ka koyi khas matlab bhi thaa.

Mere paas lakhon sujhav the ke uske rukne par hum kaya kaya kar sakte the magar mere munh se siraf itna hi nikla, “kuch bhi ma, jo tumhe achha lage” 

Hum wahan kuch der bina kuch kiye aise hi khamoshi se baithe rahe. Shaayad yehi thaa jo hum kar sakte the, bass khamoshi se baith sakt the, yeh sohte huye ke vastav main hum kaya kaya kar skte the, bina kuch bhi vaisa kiye.

Antetah khamoshi asehay ho hgayi. Wo aur jayda der sthir nahi baith sakti thee. Wo ekdam se uthkar khadi ho gayi.

Main uske us terah ekdam se uth jane se dar sa gaya. Main bhi usk sath uth kar khada ho gaya, ike falsrup ab hum ek dusre ke samne khade the.

Hum ek dusre ke behad paas paas khade the. Hum ek dusre ke samne raat ke gehan sannate main chehre ke samne chehra kiye khade the.

Usne pehla kadam uthaya, shaayad wo iske liye wo mujhse jayada tayyar thee.

Usne pehla kadam uthaya, shaayad wo iske liye mujhse jyada tyyar thee. Wo aage badhi aur usne mujhe alingan main le liya. Mujhe iski katayi umeed nahi thee;isliye main uske alingan ke eliye tyyar bhi nahi thaa.

Usne apni bahen meri kamar ke gird lappet di aur tezi se mujhe apne alingan main kas liya. Maine pratikiriya main aisa kuch bhi nahi kiya jiski usne umeed ki hogi. Maine bahut hi bedhang aur anupyukat tarike se use apne alingan main lene ki koshish ki magar isase pehle ke main use apne alingan main le pata , usne tezi se mujhe chod diya aur utni hi tezi se wo wahan se nikal gayi. 

Usne apne andar jo bhavnayon ka avesh dabaya huya thaa main use mehsoos kar sakta thaa. mujhe umeed thee usne bhi mere andar ke us avesh ko mehsoos kiya hoga. Agar isharon ki baat ki jaye to hum dono poori terah se tyyar the magar hamare kuch karne par maryada ka param pratibandh laga huya thaa. hum siraf wohi kar sakte the jo hamare rishte main svikarya thaa; pehle ke halaton ke maddenazar ek chumban; ab ke halation anusar ek alingan.

Yeh siraf ek alingan thaa, aur kuch bhi nahi magar uske mumme mere sine par do naram, mulayam garmahat liye jalte huye nishan chod gaye the. Uske jane ke bahut der baad tak bhi main us alokik annad main dubta itrata raha.

Yeh poori terah se sthapit ho chukka thaa ke kuch na kuch ghat raha thaa aur yeh saaf thaa ke hum dono us ‘kuch na kuch’ main hissa le rahe the. Magar samasaya yeh thee ke hum jyada se jyada ek dusre ke gile hontho ko chum sakte the ya hontho se hontho par halka sa dwab daal sakte the ja alinganbadh ho sakte the. Main uski peeth ko apne hatho se sehla nahi sakta thaa jaisa main karna chahta thaa. Main uske hontho main honth daal use khule dil se chum nahi sakta thaa. Main uske mummo ko ichchanusar chu nahi sakta thaa. Merale hath uske mummo ko chune ke liye tarasate the magar main aisa nahi kar sakta thaa.

Main soch raha thaa ke meri terah uske bhi arman honge. Jis terah main use chune ke liye tarasata thaa kya wo bhi esi ichchayen pale baithi thee. Ab tak jo kuch hamare bich huya huya thaa us hisab se to uske bhi mere jaise kuch arman honge. Magar mujhse jayada shaayad wo khud ke armano ko kabu kiye huye thee. Akhirkar main ek marad thaa, aur ek marad hone ke nate, mere liye apni sagi ma ke liye kamniy bhavnayen rakhna koyi bahut badi baat nahi thee. Magar ek ma hone ke nate, uske liye apne bete ke liye esi bhavnayen rakhna bahut galat baat thee. Magar isme, koyi shak nahi thaa ke hamare bich wo kamniy bhavnayen mojud thee

Maine faisla kar liya thaa ke ab main sidhe sidhe hamare bich jismani sampark badhane ki koshish karunga. 

Us raat ne hamare rishte main aur bhi ghnishtata la di thee. Hamari agli raat sabse badhiya rahi. Hum ek dusre se kafi sehajata se baat kar rahe the, balke bich bich main ek dusre ko ched bhi rahe the. Aisa lagta thaa jaise hamare rishte ne nayi unchayi ko chu liya thaa magar is sab ke bavjood thodi doori thee jo shaayad humen apne bich banayi rakhni jaroori thee. 

Agli raat jab usne keha ke use jana chahiye to main bhi uske sath jane ke liye uth khada huya. Mujhe uske baad wahan akele baithne ka man nahi thaa. yeh hamar nayi dincharya ban chuki thee aur main iska jyada se jyada fayda uthana chahta thaa. 

Humne battiyan band ki, darwajon ko band kiya aur corridor ki aur badh gaye. Jab hum mere room ke samne pahunch gaye to main use ‘goodnight’ kehne ke liye ruk gaya.

Jab usne dekha ke main corridor ke bicho bich ruk gaya hun, usne corridor ke dusre sire ki aur dekha jehan se corridor uske bedroom ki side ko mudh jata thaa. main samagh gaya ke wo yehi dekhne ki koshish kar rahi thee ke wahan koyi hai to nahi, jiska siddha matlab thaa ke wo ykini banana chahti thee ke kahin mere pitaji to wahan se humen nahi dekh rahe the. Usne mujhe darwaje ki aur dhakela. Jahir thaa wo corriodor main ‘goodnight’ nahi kehna chahti thee. 

Ye apne aap main bahut romanchkari thaa. Corridor main kisi dwara dekhe jane se bachne ke liye use meri aur jukhna thaa. Aisa karte waqat use na chahte huye bhi apna jism mere jism par dhire se dabana pada. Main use apni bahon main lena chahta thaa magar main aisa kar na saka. Main usase us terah alinganbadh nahi ho sakta thaa. Usne apna jism upar ko uthaya take uske honth mere hontho tak pahunch sake, jisase asavdhani main usne apne mumme meri chati par ragde aur phir mujhe ek chumban diya.

Wo ek nam chumban thaa. Hum dono ne apne honth gile kiye huye the bina is baat ki parwah kiye ke dusra is par etraaj jata sakta hai. Chumban main thoda sa dwab bhi thaa. Hamari dincharya ab ek sade subhratri chumban ki jegah ek alinganbadh subhratri chumban main badal chuki thee. Hamara chumban ab sukhe hontho ka namatar ka sparash na rehkar ab nam lavon ka milan thaa jisme hontho ka hontho par halka sa dwab bhi hota thaa. uske mumme meri chahti par bahut sundar sa ehsaas chod gaye the aur pakde jane ki sambhavna ka romanch alag se thaa. Hum kuch aisa kar rahe the jo humen nahi karna chahiye thaa aur waisa karte hum aram se pakde bhi ja sakte the. Yeh bahut hi romanchpuran thaa, ek se badhkar kayi mayno main. Yeh baat ke wo pakde jane se bachne ki koshish kar rahi thee, uske is chadyantar main shamil hone ki khuleaam gawahi de rahi thee. Yeh ek tarfa nahi thaa.

Yeh baat ke wo mujhse chip kar gopniyta se chumna aur alingan karna chahti thee, yeh saabit karti thee ke uski samagh anusar hamara waisa karna sharamnaak thaa. Aur is baat ke bavjood, ke hamara wo vartav uski nazar main sharamnaak thaa, wo phir bhi mujhe chumna chahti thee, mujhe alingan karna chahti thee, saabit karta thaa ke wo kuch aisa kar rahi thee jo use nahi karna chahiye thaa matlab wo kuch aisa aisa kar rahi thee jo ek ma hone ke nate use nahi karna chahiye thee magar wo, wo sabh karne ki dili khawahishmand thee.

Main kamottejit thaa! Mere andaze se wo bhi poori kamottejit thee. Mujhe uske badan ka mere badan se sparsh bahut anandmayi lag raha thaa. Mgar, yehin hamare liye ek bahut badi samasya thee, wo hamari hadh thee, hum uske age nahi badh sakte the. Main age badhkar uske jism ko apni hasrat anusar chu nahi sakta thaa. Wo apni hasrat mujh par Jahir nahi kar sakti thee. Halanke sabhi sanket ek khas disha main ishara kar rahe the, magar humen aise dikhava karna thaa ke wo disha hai hi nahi. 

Wo wahan mere samne kashan bhar ke liye ruki thee, jaise kuch soch rahi thee. Phir usne mere hath apne hathon main liye aur unhe dhire se dabaya aur phir wo wahan se chali gayi. Main wahan khada raha aur use corridor ke kone se apne room ki muudte dekhta raha. Maine uski bhavnayon ki prablata mehsoos ki thee. Mujhe bura lag raha thaa ke main use apne bhavavesh ki parchandata na dikha saka. Main usase kahin jayada khud par kabu kiye huye thaa.

Hamare bich koyi chakkar chal raha hai, bina shak phir se yeh baat ubhar kar samne aa gayi thee. Uska mere hathn ko thamna aur unhe dabana bahut hi kamuk thaa. Main kamna kar raha thaa ke kash maine use aaj kisi ALAG prakar se chuma hota. Magr ab to wo ja chuki thee, so meri kamna kamna hi rahi. Main bahut hi uttejit thaa. Maine khud se vayda kiya ke agli baar main sabh kuch behtar taike se karne ki koshish karunga. 

Agli raat, main tv dekhne drawing room main nahi gaya. Main dekhna chahta thaa ke wo mujhe dekhne aati hai ja nahi. Main dekhna chahta thaa ke kaya wo hamare bich kisi aur jismani sampark ke liye aati hai jaise wo us raat aayi thee. Maine darwaja thoda sa khula chod diya, ek sanket ke taur par ke main uske aane ki umeed kar raha hoon. 

Maine drawing room se tv ki awaz suni aur bahut nirash huya, balke bahut hatash bhi ho gaya. Ho sakta hai wo mere wahan aane ki umeed lagaye baithi ho. Magar main uska mere kamre main aane ka intezar kar raha thaa. Mujhe esi hasrat karne ke liye bahut bura mehsoos huya, magar wo hasrat poori na hone par aur bhi bura mehsoos huya. Aisa nahi ho sakta thaa. Abhi raat hone ki suruaat huyi thee, itni jaldi uska mere kamre main aana aur wo sabh hona jiski main aas lagye baitha thaa bahut mushkil thaa.

Mujhe bahut jald ehsaas ho gaya ke main bahut jyada umeede lagaye baitha hoon. Yeh itna bhi asan nahi thaa. wo siraf ek aurat nahi thee jiske sath main itni zidd pakde baitha thaa, wo meri ma thee. Wo sidhe sidhe wo sabh nahi kar sakti thee, wo un aam tarikon se mujhse pesh nahi aa sakti thee, ek ma hone ke nate mere sath uska vyabhar wo aamtaur par wala nahi ho sakta thaa jo mere aur kisi prayi nari ke bich sambhav hota. Usne khud ko thodi dheel jaroor di thee magar wo kisi bhi surat main iske aage nahi badh sakti thee.

Mujhe shanth hone main thoda waqat laga, magar jab main ek baar shanth ho gaya to main drawing room main chala gaya.

“tum theek to ho na” usne chintat swar main pucha.

Wo meri aur jigyasapurvak dekh rahi thee, mera chehra mere haav bhav padhne ki koshish kar rahi thee. Magar ab main apne jazbaton par kabu pa chukka thaa, aur ab sabh sahi thaa, ab sabh samanay thaa, jaise hona chahiye thaa. 

Yeh pani ki terah saaf thaa ke main apni ma ko pana chahta thaa, use pane ke liye tadap raha thaa. yeh bhi saaf thaa ke main ek khatarnaak khel khel raha thaa. Jis cheez ko main haasil karne par tula huya thaa wo meri ho hi nahi sakti thee. Wo kisi bhi kimat par meri nahi ho sakti thee. Aur is se bhi dilchasp baat yeh thee ke main chahta thaa ke ma bhi mujhe usi terah chahe jis terah main use chahta thaa! Main chahta thaa uske andar bhi mere liye waise hi jazbaat hon jaise uske liye mere andar the jo shaayad uske andar nahi the. Asliyat main wo jazbaat uske andar the, mujhe poora yakeen thaa wo the magar wo unhe jaahir nahi kar sakti thee. Yeh hamari dubidha thee, kashamkash thee. Hamare andar ek dusre ke liye jazbaat the magar hum unhe ek dusre par jaahir nahi kar sakte the.

Main janana chahta thaa ke uske dimag main kaya chal raha thaa. Main janana chahta thaa ke wo kaya soch rahi hai. Mujhe poora abhas thaa magar antetah yeh sari atkalbazi thee. Main sabh kuch poori terah saaf saaf janana chahta thaa. Usase janane ka koyi rasta nahi thaa, is liye hum dono chupchap tv dekhne lage, hamesha ki terah. Mujhe jigyasa ho rahi thee ke shaayad wo mujhse kisi ishare ja sanket ki umeed kar rahi hogi. Magar phir yeh bhi ek andaza hi thaa, kuch bhi spashat nahi thaa.

Main is baar bhi uske sath hi drawing room se nikla. Hum mere room ke age khade the aur is baar main mere kamre ke darwaje ki aur badha take use pichli baar ki terah mujhe dhakelna na pade. Jab wo meri aur badhi aur mere nazdik aayi to mera badan tanav se kasne laga.Main nahi janta thaa main kaya chahta hun kyonki mujhe malum nahi thaa main kaya pa sakta hoon. Magar ek baat main poore vishwas se janta thaa ke main pehle ki tuna main jyada pana chahta thaa. Main buri terah se uttejit thaa aur mera lund paththar ke saman kathor ho chukka thaa. 

Maine dhyaan diya wo aaj wohi wala perfume lagaye huye hai jiski maine us din hamare kamre main tareef ki thee. Aaaj main ise achche se sungh sakta thaa kyonki wo us raat ke muqable aaj bilkul mere paas khadi thee aur wo mehak meri andar kamounmad ki jal rahi jwala ko hawa dekar aur bhadka rahi thee. 

“Ma tumhare badan se kitni pyari sugandh aa rahi hai” main dhire se phusphsaya aur apne honth ache se gile kar liye. Honth gile karna ab hamare liye aam baat thee, ja main keh sakta hun ke hum usase kafi aage badh chuke the. Hontho ki nami subhratri ke chumban ko aur bhi behtar bana deti thee, aur kyonki is par ab tak ma ne koyi etraz nahi jataya thaa, isliye maine ise hamari dincharya ka anivarya hissa bana liya thaa. maine hamare alingan ko aur bhi aatmiy banane ka faisla kar liya thaa. Yeh ma thee jisne alingan ki suruaat ki thee isliye mujhe laga ke use thoda sa aur thos banane main koyi haraz nahi hai. 

Use apni bahhon main lete hi uske mumme meri chati se sat gaye aur mere poore jisam main sansnanat daud gayi. Mujhe dar thaa wo piche hatt jayegi magar wo nahi hati. Mujhe ehsaas huya ke uske honth bhi poore nam the isliye mera upar wala honth uske hontho main phisal gaya aur uska nichla honth mere hontho main phisal gaya. Maine use apni bahon main thame huye uske honho par halka sa dwab badhaya. Uske badan ne ek halka sa jhatka khaya magar usne mujhe hataya nahi aur khud bhi piche nahi hati. Jab uske badan ne jhatka khaya aur uska jisam thoda sa hila dula to maine bhi uske hilne dulne ke hisab se khud ko vyavasthit kiya. Jab hum phir se sthir huye to maine paya mera lund uske jisam main chubh raha thaa.

Hum jald hi juda ho gaye aur wo apne kamre ki taraf badh gayi. Main nahi janta thaa ke mera khada lund uske jism ke kis hisse pe chubha thaa magar main itna jaroor janta thaa ke hamare jismo ke bich us khas sampark ko hum dono ne bakhubi nehsoos kiya thaa. Us chubhan ko mehsoos karne ke baad uske man main koyi shak baki na raha hoga ke main uttejit thaa, ke main uski vejah se utteji thaa, ke main uske dwara lagayi kamounmad ki aag main jal raha thaa. 

Maine apne jazbaat us par jaanbujhkar jahir nahi kiye the, yeh bas apne aap ho gaya thaa. Yeh ek sanyog thaa. Magar mera lund bahut kathor thaa, bahut jyada kthor aur uska is aur dhyaan jana lazim thaa. 

Uske jane ke bad main samagh nahi paa raha thaa ke mujhe kis terah mehsos karna chahiye. Kya mujhe is baat se darna chahiye ke wo hamesha hamesha ke liye hamare bich diwar khadi kar degi aur hamare us der raaton ke sath ka ant ho jayega? Kya mujhe nirash hona chahiye thaa ke mere akde lund ko mehsos karne ke baad bhi usne koyi pratikiriya nahi di thee? Ya mujhe khush hona chahiye ke mere jazbaat uske same ujagar ho gaye the chahe wo ek sanyog hi thaa. 

Agar main kuch kar sakta thaa to wo tha aane wale agle din ka intezar. Magar agli raat wo mere sath tv dekhne ke liye drawing room main nahi aayi.

Main uska intezar pe intezar karta raha, wo ab aayi ke ab aayi, magar wo nahi aayi. Main use dekhne uske kamte main nahi ja sakta thaa kyonki wahan mere pitaji soye huye the. Mujhe laga usne faisla kar liya tha ke ab hamare us anandmayi, kamounmad se labrej khawab ka ant karne ka samay aa gaya hai, balke mere us sundar, kamuk khawab ka ant karne ka samay aa gaya hai. Sabhi sanket saaf saaf bata rahe the ke hamare bich kya chal raha thaa, magar jab mere lund ki chuban use mehsoos huyi hogi to use khud ba khud ehsaas huya hoga ke meri tammanna kaya thee, meri abhilasha kaya thee aur main kis cheez ki kamna kar raha thaa aur yeh ehsaas hote hi usne sabh kuch band kar dene ka faisla kiya thaa. Main bahut udas ho gaya aur mujhe bahut hatasha bhi huyi. Maine jaanbughkar apna lund uske badan par nahi dabaya thaa, wo asavdhani main ho gaya thaa magar ab mujhe iski keemat to chukani hi thee.

Dusri raat ko ma tv dekhne aayi jaroor magar wo jayada der wahan na ruki. Mujhe mauka na mila ke main usase puch sakta ke wo pichli raat kyon nahi aayi, ya ke sabhkuch theek thaa, ya phir kya maine kuch galat kiya thaa? Wo ittefakan ho gaya thaa magar ab use jaroor hamare us khel ki bhayavahata ka ehsaas ho gaya hoga. Jab wo gayi to usne mujhe chuma nahi thaa. Usne siraf juwani ‘goodnight’ keha thaa.

Wo mujhe bahut spashatata se is baat ke sanket de rahi thee ke hamare bich wo sabh kuch khatam ho chuka thaa jiski humne suruaat ki thee. Usne jaroor mehsoo kiya hoga ke hum hadh se aage badhte ja rahe the aur isliye use is khatam kar dena chahiy thaa isase pehle ke baat hath se nikal jati jiski yojna main pehle hi bana chuka thaa. Uska drishtikon bilkul sahi thaa isiliye usne sabh kuch wahin ka wahin khatam kar dena uchit samgha thaa.

Main bahut byakul thaa, bahut ashant thaa. Mujhe ek gehan udasi ki anubhuti ho rahi thee jo hamare aaspaas aur hamare bich chayi huyi thee. Aisa lagta thaa jaise hamare bich koyi rishta banane se pehle hi toot gaya thaa. Jo kuch huy thaa uski hum aapas main charcha tak nahi kar sakte the kyonki vastav main kuch huya hi nahi thaa.

Hamare bich jo kuch thaa uske kho jane ke baad mujhe uski bahut yaad aa rahi thee. Magar wo jo kuch bhi kar rahi thee maine use kabool kar liya thaa. Mujhe ehsaas ho gaya thaa wo khud kin halaton se guzar rahi hai. Agar main apni pratikiriya ko dekhta aur meri takleef jaise apni ma ki takleef ko bhi samghata to mujhe uske liye bhi bahut dukh mehsoos ho raha thaa. 

Ab na to wo nam subhratri chumban the aur na hi wo sukhad ehsas karane wale alingan. Us raat ke baad bhi aane wali raton ko wo mere sath tv dekhne ko aati magar achchi raat guzarane ki uski subhkamna hamesha juwani hoti. 

Jab agli baar mere pitaji sehar se bahar gaye, to mujhe nahi malum thaa agar hum pehle ki hi bhanti koyi film dekhenge aur der raat tak ikaththe samay bayatit karenge. Mujhe umeed thee ke hum pehle ki hi terah samay bitayenge magar maine khud ko badle halaton ke anusar chote se ratri milan ke sath ke liye tyaar rakha. 

Wakayi main hamare pitaji ke jane ke baad us raat hamara sath thode samay ke liye hi thaa magar ye main thaa jisne hamare us ratri ke sath ko chota kar diya thaa. Maine wahan se jaldi uthane aur apne kamre main jane ka faisla kar liya. Main hamare bich ki us doori ko bardashat nahi kar sakta thaa aur waise bhi film dekhne ka mera bilkul bhi man nahi tha kyonki pehle jaisa kuch bhi nahi thaa ja kam se kam jaisa main chahta thaa waisa kuch bhi nahi thaa. Maine use goodnight bola aur us akele tv dekhne ke liye chod wahan se chal gaya. 

Use jaroor malum thaa ke main pateshan thaa. Usne mehsoos kiya hoga ke main khush nahi thaa. 

Main apne kmre main gaya aur darwaja band kar diya. Apne bed par laita main karvaten badal raha thaa. 

Mera dil joron se dhadak utha jab us raat kuch samay baad maine apne darwaje par dastak suni.

Apne darwaje par us raat thodi der baad dastak sun mera dil zoron se dhadak utha. Main lagbhag bhaag kar darwaja kholne gaya. Wo mere samne wohi us raat wali nightie pehne wohi perfume lagaye mehakti huyi khadi thee, usne halka sa shringar kiya huya thaa aur bahut hi pyari lag rahi thee.

Usne apna hath aage meri aur badhaya aur keha, “aao beta tv dekhte hain. Itni bhi kaya jaldi sone ki!” 

Maine apna hath uske hath ma diya aur wo mera hath thame mujhe vaapis drawing room main le gayi. Main is achanak badlav se atyadhik khush thaa, halanke main nahi janta thaa is sabka matlab kaya hai ya wo chahti kaya hai. Hum usi sofe par baith tv par kuch dekhne lage. Mujhe yaad nahi hum dekh kaya rahe the. Main apne vicharon main khoya huya halaton main aaye achanak badlav ke bare main soch raha thaa.

Hum kuch der tak wahan baithe rahe magar jald hi humne faisla kiya ke ab sona chahiye. Hum dono ek sath uth khade huye, drawingroom aur rasoyi ki sabhi battiyan band ki aur corridor ki aur chal pade jehan mera kamra thaa aur jehan jayadatar hum ek dusre ko subhratri ki subhkamna karte the. Mera dil dugni raftar se dhadak raha thaa aur mera dimag hasrat pe hasrat kiye ja raha thaa. 

Maine apne jazbaton ko dum ghutne ki hadd tak daba kar rakha huya thaa. Nam hontho ke subhratri chumban ja alingan ke dohrane ko lekar main poori terah se asvashat nahi thaa. Mujhe apni bhavnayon ko is hadd tak dabana pad raha thaa ke main besudh sa hota ja raha thaa. 

Magar jaisa saame aaya wo khud apni bhanayon ko dabaye huye thee, ek baar jab hum mere kamre ke darwaje par pahunche to wo meri aur badhi. Usne apni bahen meri gardan main dalne ke liye upar uthayi. Maine apni bahen uski kamar par lapet deen aur use apni aur khinch kar pooran alingan main le liya. Hamari gardane aapas main sati huyi thee, hamari chatiyan poore sampark main thee aur meri bahen use thode zor se apne alingan main liye huye thee. Main use kas kar apne se chiptaye huye thaa. Use jaroor mere alingan main meri narazagi mehsoos ki hogi.

Jab humne itne zor se alinganbadh ho gaye the to kudratan hamare hontho ka milna bhi lazmi thaa. Maine apnijivha apne honho par ragad unhe achche se gila kar liya. Jaise hi maine apna sar piche ko kheencha take hamare chehre aamne saamne hon, uska mukh meri aur aaya aur mera mukh uski aur badh gaya. Maine apni bhavnayen bahut daba kar rakhi thee magar ab unhe ubharne ka mauka de diya thaa. Maine apne honth ma ke hontho par rakhe aur unhe thoda sa khol kar uske nichle honth ko apne hontho main le liya. 

Main nahi janta kaise main us adubhut ehsaas ko lafzon main bayan karu, wo ehsaas jab meri ma ne mera upar ka honth apne hontho main le liya aur mujhe halke se chuma. Uske honth gulab ki pankhudiyon ki terah nazuk the. Maine unhe pehle aise nahi mehsoos kiya thaa. Phir usne apna mukh niche ko kiya aur mera nichla honth apne hontho main lekar mujhe phir se chuma. Uske honth mere hontho par fisalne lage, wo apne piche mithe mukhras ki lakeer si chodte jate kyonki mere honth uske danto ko sparash kar rahe the. Maine uska upar ka honth apne hontho main bhar liya aur us par apne honth ghumate huye use dhire dhire chusne laga., uske honth ko apne mukh main sehlane laga. 

Chumban itna lamba thaa ke hum ek dusre ki mithas ko achche se chakh sakte the. Hamare jisam khud ba khud aur zor se ek dusre se satt gaye the. Maine apna akda lund uske jism par dabaya, aur is baar maine yeh jaanbujhkar kiya thaa; wo piche na hati. Magar usne apna jisam bhi mere lund par pratikiriya main nahi dabaya beharhaal kam se kam wo piche to nahi hati thee.

Magar chumban ko khatam to hona hi thaa, jab hum apni bhavnayen khul kar ek dusre se bayan kar chuke the. Usne apna sar meri chati par tika diya aur main use narmi se bahon main thame khada raha. Ek lambi khamoshi cha gayi thee aur hum dono ek dusre ko thame khade the.

Us khamoshi ko ma ne toda. “Ye main kya kar rahi hun?” Wo phusphasayi. Wo ek aisa swal thaa jo wo mujhse jayada khud se kar rahi thee isliye maine koyi jwab na diya. Asal main mere paas us swal ka koyi jwab thaa hi nahi. Phir se khamoshi cha gayi aur phir wo alag ho gayi. Hum ek dusre ke saamne khade the aur hamare bich doori bahut kam thee. Usne apne hath upar kiye aur apne baal sanvarne lagi. Main use apne baal samvarte dekh raha thaa sath hi mera dhyaan uske mummo par thaa jo bahen upar hone ke karan aage ko ubhar aaye the. Wo itni kamuk lag rahi thee ke main aage badhkar use phirse apni bahon main bhar lena chahta thaa. Magar mujhe kisi anjan shakti ne rok liya, esi shakti jisko shaayad main kabhi spashat na kar saku.

Usne apne baal sahi kiye aur phir usne apni nigjtie sahi ki. Phir usne mera chehra apne dono haton main thama aur dhime se mere hontho par chuma. Usne us chumban ko kuch der tak kheencha aur phir mujhe “godnight” keha. Aur phir ekdam se wo wahan se chali gayi.

Wo wahan se ekdam se hadbada kar chali gayi!

Antetah hum ek dusre ko khul kar jata chuke the, bata chuke the ke hum ek dusre se kaya chahte hain. Aur usi samay wo sawal kar usne yeh bhi jata diya thaa ke hamara aisa karna galat thaa. Uska is terah achanak chale jana is baat ka sanket thaa ye kitna galat thaa. Hamari us gehri aatmiyta ke sath sath aatamglani ki bhavna bhi mojud thee aur atamglani ki us bhavna ki tivrata itni thee ke use wahan se lagbhag bhagna pada thaa.

Hamare pachtawe se bachne ka ek hi tarika thaa ke hum aise dikhava karte jaise kuch huya hi nahi thaa jaise hum hamesha pehle karte aaye the jab humen wo atamglani ki bhavna gher laiti thee aur main aur ma dikhava karte ke kuch bhi galat ghatit nahi huya hai. Magar is baar kuch aisa huya thaa jise hum andekha nahi kar sakte the. Mere pitaji abhi bhi sehar se bahar rehne vale the. Hamare paas ek aur raat thee. Main janta thaa yeh samay thaa ke hum us swal ka saamna karte ja phir sabh kuch band kar dete. Yeh sambhav nahi thaa ke hum usi teah adhar main latke rehte. Humen faisla lena thaa ke hum hamare rishte se kaya chahte hain.

Magar kaise? Kaise main use apna dil kholne ko kehta? Kya main uske paas jata aur usase puchta ke mere dwara lund dwane par wo is terah bhaag kyon rahi hai? Wo vichar hi behuda thaa. Main use kisi bhi prakar hamare us rishte ko lekar use apni mansha jahir karne ke liye nahi keh sakta thaa. Main siraf chip sakta thaa. 

Wahan kuch der khada rehne ke paschat main apne kamre main chala gaya. Maine batti band ki aur chadar lekar bed par sone ki koshish main karvaten badlane laga. Meri ankho main neend ka koyi namonishan nahi thaa magar main jaagna bhi nahi chahta thaa. 

Us waqat raat kafi guzar chuki hogi jab maine darwaje par halki si dastak suni. Pehle pehal to maine dhyaan nahi diya, mujhe laga mera veham thaa magar teesri baar dastak hone par mujhe jwab dena pada. Mujhe nahi malum thaa agar mujhe kamre main adhera hi rehne dena chahiye ya bed ke sath lage side lamp ko jala dena chahiye. Main uth gaya aur use bola, “haan ma, aa jao”

Usne dhire se darwaja khola aur dhire se phusphasayi “bea abhi jaag rahe ho?” 

“Haan ma, main jaag raha gun. Andr aa jao” mujhe laga un halaton main lights band rakhna munasib nahi thaa. Isiliye maine bed ke side stand ki light jala di. 

Wo ek gown pehne thee jo use sar se panv tak dhake huye thaa—aisa usne aaj pehli baar kiya thaa. Main chah kar bhi khud ko vash main na rakh saka aur gown ka bariki se muyana karne laga magar mere hath nirasha lagi. Usne jaanbugh kar wo gown pehna thaa jisne uska poora badan dhak diya thaa aur mujhe uske chehre ke siva kuch bhi nazar nahi aa raha thaa. Main ascharyachakit thaa ke akhir usko aisa karne ki kaya jariorat thee. Shaayad mere liye usme ek gehan ishara, ek zordar sandesh chipa huya thaa. 

Usne meri computer vali kursi li aur us par thode waqat ke liye baith gayi. Uski nazren uske panvo par zami huyi thee, wo un alfazon ko dhundane ka prayas kar rahi thee jinse wo apni baat ki suruaat kar sakti. Main chupchap use dekhe ja raha thaa, is vichar se khaufzada ke wo mujhe yehi batane aayi thee ke humen sabh kuch band karna padega.

Wo khamoshi asehniy thee.

Antetah, bahut lambe smay baad, usne khans kar apna gala saaf kiya aur boli: “kya tum mujhse naraz ho?”

Main, asal main uske swal se thoda hairat main pad gaya thaa aur maine use jaldi se jwab diya ke main usase naraz nahi thaa. Magar jwab dene se pehle main sochne ke liye ek pal ruka. Main asmanjas main thaa ke wo yeh kyon soch rahi hai ke main usase naraz hun jabke main is sare ghatnakram ke samay yehi soch soch kar pareshan thaa ke wo mujhse naraz hogi. Akhirkar wo mera lund thaa jo uske jisam par chubha thaa, jisne meri un kamuk bhavnayon ko ujagar kar diya thaa jo uske liye mere man main thee. Aur is par bhi wo mujhse puch rahi thee ke kahin main usase naraz to nahi thaa jaise usne mere sath kuch bura kuch galat kiya thaa.

Akhirkar main bola : “naraz? Nahi ma main tumse bilkul bhi naraz nahi hun” iske sath hi maine yeh bhi jod diya “bhala main tumse naraz kyon hoyunga?”

“Mujhe laga, mujhe laga shaayad ……….” Usne apna vakya adhura chod diya. Main uski pareshani vajeh samagh gaya thaa. Uske man main jaroor kuch aur bhi thaa aur main janana chahta thaa ke wo kaya thaa.

“Shaayad kaya ma?” Maine use uksaya.

Wo kuch pal sochti rahi aur phir ek gehri saans lekar tapak se boli: “mujhe laga…….jo kuch hamare bich kuch samay pehle huya tum usko lekar mujhse naraz hoge” 

“Magar main naraz kyon hoyunga?” Main abhi bhi asmanjas main thaa. Jehan tak main janta thaa usme hum dono ki razamandi shamil thee.

“Mujhe laga shaayad main hadd se kuch jayada hi aage badh gayi thee jab humne goodnight keha thaa”

Maine uske andar gehrayi main jhankane ki koshish ki. Wo siraf apne bartav ke bare main soch rahi thee. Use khud se kuch galat ho jane ka bhay sata raha thaa. Mujhe laga wo mere lund ki apne badan par chubhan ke bare main soch bhi nahi rahi thee, na hi is baat ke bare main ke maine bhi use utni hi tammana se chuma thaa jitni tammaa se usne mujhe. Wo siraf apne chumne ke bare main soch rahi thee, jaise ye sabh poori terah se ektarafa thaa, jaise hamare prem sambandh main siraf wohi hissa le rahi thee.

“Kaya matlab ke tum hadd se aage badh gayi thee” maine jaanbujhkar anjan bante huye pucha. Mere liye yeh baat bahut raahat dene wali thee ke wo khud ko kasoorvar thehra rahi thee aur mujh par koyi dosh nhi madh rahi thee. Mujhe laga sthiti mere niyantaran main hai kyonki wo rakshatmak mudra main thee jabke mujhe ab darne ki koyi jaroorat nahi thee jaisa main pehle soche baitha thaa. 

Wo dubidha main thee. Mujhe achi terah se malum thaa wo kiss bare main baat kar rahi hai magar main uske mukh se sunana chahta thaa ke uska ishara kis aur hai. 

Wo kuch der tak apne jwab ke bare main sochti rahi. Achanak se wo bahut pasat baht thaki huyi nazar aane lagi. Wo us kursi par chupchap baithi apne paon ko dekhe ja rahi thee aur uske hath dono baglon se kursi ko ks kar pakde huye the.

Khamoshi ke wo kuch pal kuch ghanto ke brababr the, usne apna chehra upar uthaya aur meri aur dekha; “kya yeh sambhav hai ke tum vakayi main nahi jante main kis bare main baat kar rahi hoon?!”

“kya yeh sambhav hai ke tum vakayi main nahi jante main kis bare main baat kar rahi hoon?!”

Maine use dekha aur wo mujhe dekh rahi thee. Uski ankhe main bahut gambhirata thee. Balke mujhe uski ankho main ek anjana darr bhi nazar aaya. Use darr tha ke wo us baat ko bahut badha Chadha kar pesh kar rahi hai, jabke main is baat se anjan thaa ke hamare bich kaya chal raha hai. Dusre lafzon main kahiye to, wo us mudde ko tool de rahi the jise chedne ki use koyi avshaykta nahi thee. Main dekh sakta thaa ke use apni sanso par kabu rakhne main dikkat ho rahi thee.

Main us swal ka jwab nahi dena chahta thaa. Magar ab jab usne swal pucha thaa to mujhe jwab dena hi thaa. “main janta hun tum kis bare main baat kar rahi ho.” Maine bina kuch aur jode baat ko wahin tak simat rakha.

Wo chupchap baithi thee, bass sochti ja rahi thee. Uske mathe ki gehri shikne bata rahi thee ke wo kitni gehrayi se soch rahi thee. Wo kisi vichar ko janch rahi thee magar use keh nahi paa rahi thee. Wo use kehne ke sahi lafzon ko dhundhane ki koshish kar rahi thee. Akhirkar, usne ek gehri saans li take apne dil ki dhadkano ko kabu kar sake aur chehre par apar ghambhirta liye mujhe pucha: “to batao main kis bare main baat kar rahi thee?”

Usne sidhe sidhe mujhe mauka diya thaa ke main sabh kuch khule main le aata. Ab waqat aa gaya thaa ke jo bhi hamare bich chal raha thaa us par khul kar baat ki jaye kyonki usne bahut saaf saaf pucha thaa ke hamare bich chal kaya raha thaa. 

Mujhe kuch samay laga ek upyukat jwab sochne ke liye, aur jab maine apna jwab soch liya to uski ankho main ankhe daal kar dekha aur keha: “baat poori terah se saaf Hai ke hum dono main se koyi bhi pehl nahi karna chahta.” 

Maine dekha uske chehre par ek rang aa raha thaa aur dusra ja raha thaa aur phir wo kuch normal ho gayi. Halanke maine bahut saaf saaf ishara kar diya thaa ke kya chal raha hai, wo pratyaksh baat poori saaf aur sidhe lafzon main sunana chahti thee na ke anischit lafzon main ke main kis bare main baat kar raha hoon. Uski pratikiriya spashat aur meri ummeed ke mutabik hi thee: “kaya matlab tumhara? Kis baat ke liye pehal?” 

Main behichak saaf saaf lafzon main bayan kar sakta thaa magar hamare bich jo cha raha thaa uske sath ek aisa gehra kalank juda huya thaa, wo itna sharamsar kar dene wala thaa ke us pal bhi jab sabh kuch khule main aa chukka thaa hum use svikar karne se katra rahe the. Itna hi nahi ke humame se koyi bhi pehla kadam nahi uthana chahta thaa balke humame se koyi bhi yeh bhi svikar nahi karna chahta thaa ke kisi baat ke liye pehal karne ki jaroorat thee. 

Kamre main chayi gambhirta ki prablata avishvasniy thee. Wo apni ukhadi saanso par kabu pane ke liye apne mukh se saans le rahi thee. Mere dil ki dhadkane bhi bekabu ho rahi thee jab main jwab ke liye upyukat lafzon ka chunab kar raha thaa. Meri nashon main khoon itni tezi se daud raha thaa ke mere sare vichar bhatak rahe the. Main janta thaa wo samay ekdam upyukat thaa, main janta thaa ke hum dono har baat se poori terah avgat the, main janta thaa ke humame se kisi ek ko maryada ki us laksham rekha ko paar karne thaa, magar yeh karna kaise thaa, yeh ek samasaya thee. 

Uske swal ka jwab dene ki vajay maine uske saamne apna ek vichar rakha: “tum janti ho ma jab hum dono is bare main baat nahi karte the to sabh kuch kitna asan thaa, koyi bhi pareshani nahi thee”

Usne rahat ki lambi sans li aur uske chehre par muskarahat cha gayi. maine mehsoos kiya ke uski wo muskarahat un sabh mushkarahaton se jayada pyari thee jitni maine aaj tak kisi bhi aurat ke chehre par dekhi thee. Apna badan dhila chodte huye usne mujhe jwab diya : “hun, tumhari is baat se main poori terah sehmat hoon. 

Maine uske sundar mukhade aur tarashe huye hontho ko dekha. Wo bahut mohak lag rahi thee halanke uska badan poori terah se dhanka huya thaa. Ek baat to pakki thee ke hamare bich baraf ki wo diwar pighal chuki thee. Hamare bich jo kuch chal raha thaa us par apartayakash roop se hum dono sehmat the aur hum dono jante the ke hum aprichit aur varjit kshetar main dakhil ho chuke hain.

Main bahut hi uttejit thaa. Mera lund itna akda huya thaa ke mujhe darad mehsoos ho raha thaa. main use apni bahon main bhar lena chahta thaa aur uske jism ko apne jism ke sath daba huya mehsoos karna chahta thaa. main uske mummo ko apni chati par ragadate mehsoos karna chahta thaa. main apne hathon se uski peeth sehlana chahta thaa, uski gand maslana chahta thaa. Main uske hontho main honth daal kar khule dil se chumna chahta thaa aur chahta thaa ke wo bhi mujhe utni hi hasrat se khul kar chume. 

Hum wahan chupchap baithe the, meri nazar us par jami huyi thee aur uski nazar farash par jami huyi thee. Mera kitna man thaa ke main jaan sakta uske dimag main us waqat kaya chal raha thaa. Wo apne vicharon aur bhavnayon main dhyaanmagan jaan padti thee jaise main apne vicharon main thaa. Wo bich bich main gehri saanse le rahi thee take khud ko shant kar sake. Mujhe nahi malum thaa ab humen kaya karna chahiye. 

Akhirkar kuch samay paschat, jo ke anatkal lag raha thaa wo dhire se phusphasayi: “kaya yeh sambhav hai”

Wo itne dhire se phusphasayi thee ke main uske lafzon ko theek se sun bhi nahi paya thaa. main kuch nahi bola.main us swal ka jwab nahi dena chahta thaa. 

Phir se ek chuppi cha gayi jab wo mere jwab ka intezar kar rahi thee. Jab maine koyi jwab na diya to usne meri aur nazar uthakar dekha aur is baar daridhata se pucha: “kaya hamare bich yeh sambhav hai” 

Main bahut uttejit hota ja raha thaa, meri nason main daudta khun ubalne laga thaa kyonki mera man us samay bahut sari sambahvnayon ke bare main soch raha thaa. Usne lagbhag sabh kuch saaf saaf keh diya thaa aur apni bhavnayon aur hasraton ko khule roop se Jahir kar diya thaa. Ab meri taraf se sanyat vartav uske sath anyay hota. Maine uski ankho main jhanka aur apni nazar banaye rakhi. Apne lafzon main jitni hasrat main bhar sakta thaa, bhar kar maine keha: “tumhe kaise batayun ma, mera to rom rom iske sambahv hone ke liye manokamna karta hai

Hum dono phir se chup ho gaye the. Uski ghosna aur meri svikarokti ki bhayavahata hum dono ko jehrile naag ki terah das rahi thee. Hum yakayak bahut gambhir ho gaye the. Sabh kuch khul kar saamne aa chukka thaa aur hum ek dusre se kaya chahte the iska sanket saaf saaf thaa magar hum phir bhi chup chap baithe the, dono nahi jante the aage kaya karna chahiye.

Khamoshi itni gehri thee ke akhirkar jab usne meri aur dekha to main uske jism ki hildul ko bhi sun sakta thaa. Uske chehre par wo ajib bhav dekh sakta thaa, darr aur kamna, ummeed aur atank ka mila jula roop thaa wo. Usne hamari dubidha ko lafzon main bayan kar diya; “Ab?…….Ab kaya?” wo boli.

Hoon, main bhi yehi soche ja raha thaa: Ab kaya? Ab iske aage badhne ki hamari kaya sambahvna thee? Samanyata hamara aage badhne wala raasta spashat thaa magar hamare bich kuch bhi samanay nahi thaa. Sabse pehle hum namumkin ke mumkin hone ke ichchuk the aur ab jab wo namumkin mumkin ban gaya thaa, hum yakeen nahi kar pa rahe the key yeh vastavik hai, sach hai. hum samagh nahi paa rahe the ke hum apne bhagay ka fayda kaise uthayen, kyonki hamare aage badhne ke liye koyi nirdharit yojna nahi thee. 

Ant main maine pehla kadam uthane ka faisla kiya. Ek gehri saans lekar, maine apni chadar hatayi aur dridah nischay ke sath bed ke us taraf ko badha jiske nazdik uski kursi thee. Wo sambhvat mera intezar kar rahi thee, main bed ke kinare par chala gaya aur apne hath uski aur badha diye. Yeh mera uske “ab kaya?” ka jwab thaa.

Wo pehle to hichkichayi, mere kadam ka jwab dene ke liye wo apni himmat juta rahi thee. Dhire dhire usne apne hath aage badhaye aur mere hathon main de diye. 

Wo hamara pehla vastvik sparash thaa jab maine use hasrat se chuya thaa, hasrat jo uske liye thee aur uske jism ke liye thee. Usne ise svikar kar kiya thaa balke paraspar meri hasrat ka jwab usne apne sparsh se diya thaa. uske hath bahut nazuk mehsoos ho rahe the. Bahut naram, khubsurat hath the ma ke aur mere lambe hathon main poori terah se sama gaye the.

Hamara sparash romanchak thàa aisa kehna kambayani hoga, aise lag raha thaa jaise ek ke jism se vidhut ki tarange nikal kar dusrere ke jism main sama rahi thee. Yeh sparash romanchkata se uttejna se badhkar thaa, yeh ek sparsh matar nahi thaa, usase kahin adhik thaa. Humne ungliyon ke sampark matar se ek dusre se apne dil ki hazaron baaten ko sajha kiya thaa. Hamare hathon ka yeh sparash pichli baar ke us sparash se kahin adhik aatmiy thaa jab usne corridor main mere hath thaam aur dabaye the. Maine apni unguliyon ko uski hatheliyon par ragada. Wo apni jegah par sthir khadi rehne ka prayas kar rahi thee kyonki uska jism halke halke jhatke kha raha thaa.

Main uski ungliyon uski hatheliyon ki back ko apne angutho se sehla raha thaa. Wo gehri saanse le rahi thee aur main uske jism ko halke se kampte mehsoos kar sakta thaa. Uske khamosh smarpan se utsahit hokar maine bed se utarne aur uske saamne khade hone ka faisla kiya. Main abhi bhi uske hath thame huye thaa, so mere bed se uthane ke smay uske hath bhi thoda sa upar ko uthe jis karan uska badan bhi thoda upar ko utha. Usne ishara samja aur wo bhi uth kar khadi ho gayi. Ab hum ek dusre ke samne khade the; hathon main hath thame hum ek dusre ki gehri saanso ko sun rahe the. 

Wo pehle aage badhi, wo mere paas aa gayi aur usne apna chehra meri aur badhya. Maine apna chehra uske chehre par jhukaya aur wo mujhe chumne ke liye thoda sa aur aage badhi. Maine uske hath chod diye aur use apni bahon main bhar liya. Hamare honth aapas parasar jud gaye, hamare andar kamukata ka junoon lave ki terah phoot padne ko bekarar ho utha.

Hum ek dusre ko thame chum rahe the. Kabhi narmi se, kabhi majbooti se, kabhi aavesh se, kabhi josh se. Humne is pal ka apni kalpanayon main itni baar abhyaas kiya tha ke jab yeh vastav main huya to yeh ekdam svabhivik thaa. Humne poori kathorata se aur gehrayi se ekdusre ko chuma. Hamare honth ek dusre ke hontho ko chus rahe the aur hamari jibhe aapas main ladh rahi thee. Balke humne ek dusre ki jivha ko bhi baari baari se apne mukh man bhar kar chusa use apni jivha se sehlaya.

Uske honth bahut nazuk the magar unme kitni kamukata bhari padi thee. Uske chumban bahut naram the magar kitne anadmayi the. Uski jivha bahut meethi thee magar kitni madak thee.

Wo lamhe adhubhut the aur hamara chumban bahut lamba chala thaa. Humne un sabhi vyarath guzre palon ki kami door kar di thee jab hamare honth itne nazdik hote the aur hum sukhe hontho ke chumban se kahin adhik karne ke ichhhuk hote the. Mujhe yakeen nahi ho pa raha thaa hamare chumban kitne anandmayi the, uske honth kitne swadishat the, aur usne apna chehra kitne josh se mere chehre pe dabaya huya thaa.

Jab humne apni bhavukata, apni vyagarata, apne josh ko poorntya ek dusre ko jata diya to maine khud ko usase alag kiya aur use dekhne laga. Ab main use ek nari ki terah dekh sakt thaa na ke ek ma ki terah. Wo us samay mujhe ascharyajanak roop se sundar lag rahi thee aur maine use bataya bhi ke wo kitni khubsurat hai, kitni manmohak hai, kitni akarshak hai.

Phir main dheere se uske kaan main phusphasaya “Ma! Main tumhe nangi dekhna chahta hun”

Ek baar phir se wo jwab dene main hichkicha rahi thee. Maine uske gown ki doriyan pakdi aur unhe dhire se khincha. Ganth khulte hi usne apne aap ko mujhse thoda sa door hata liya. Wo mujhse baju bhar ki doori par thee aur uske gown ki doriyan khul rahi thee. Ek baar doriyan poori khul gayi to usne unhe vaise hi latkate rehne diya. Wo apni bahen latkaye mere saamne bade hi kamottejit dhang se khadi thee. Uska gown saamne se halka sa khul gaya thaa. 

Tab maine jo dekha……..use dekhkar main vismit ho utha. Mujhe ummeed thee usne gown ke andar poore kapde pehne honge, magar jab maine apne kampte hath aage badhaye aur uske gown ko thoda sa aur khola, jaise main kisi tofe ko khol raha thaa, tab maine jana ke usne andar kuch bhi nahi pehna thaa. 

Wo us gown ke andar poorntya nagan thee. Usne vastav main mere kamre main aane ke liye kapde utare the, is baat ke ulat ke use kapde pehanane chahiye the. Yeh vichar apne aap main bada hi kamuk thaa ke wo mere kamre main poori terah tyyar hokar ek hi sambhavna ke tehat aayi thee, aur yeh theek vaise hi ho bhi raha thaa jaisi usne jaroor umeed ki hogi- ja yojna banayi hogi- ke yeh ho

Sabse pehle meri nazar uske spat pet par gayi. Meri saans rukne lagi jab uska pet aur uske niche ka hissa meri nazar ke saamne khul gaya. Pet ke niche mujhe uski jangho ke jod pe bilkul chote chote se balon ka ek trikona akar dikhayi diya uske baad uski janghe aur uski tange poori terah se meri nazar ke samne thee. Iske baad maine uske gown ke upar ke hisse ko kholna suru kiya aur uske mumme dhire dhire meri pyasi nazron ke saamne numayan ho gaye. 

Wo atulniy the. Main janta thaa ma ke mumme bahut mote hain, magar jab wo mere samne apna roop vikherte poori shano saukat main garv se tan kar khade the, to main unki sundarta dekh aschryachakiypt ho utha. Wo bhavya the, madkata se labrej. Main ekdum se baisabra ho utha aur tezi se hath badha kar unhe pakad liya. Maine apni haheliyan uske mummon ke irad gird jama di. Uske nipples mere hathon ke bilkul bicho bich the. Maine unki komlata mehsoos karne ke liye unhe dhire se dabaya. Uske nipple ekdum akade the. Uske mumme vipul aur tane huye the. 

Mere mumme dabate hi usne ek dabi si siski bhari jisne mere kaano main sehad ghol diya. Use mere sparash main anand mil raha thaa aur mujhe use sparash karne main anand mil raha thaa. Jald hi mere hath uske poore mummon par firne lage.

Maine dhyaan hi nahi diya kab usne apna gown apne kandho se sarka diya aur use farash par girne diya. Wo mere saamne khadi thee, poori nagan, kitni mohak, kitni chittakarshak aur avisnasiy taur se madak lag ehi thee. Maine use phir se apni bahon main bhar liya aur use jaldi jaldi aur kathorata se chumne laga. Main uske mummon ko apni chati par ragadate mehsoos kar raha thaa aur mere hath uski peeth se lekar uski gand tak sehla rahe the. Jaise hi mere hath uske nagan nitambo par pahunche to uske sath sath mere badan ko bhi jhatka laga main tarunt unhe sehlane lag gaya. 

Main use chum raha thaa, uske mummo par apni chati ragad raha taa, uske nitambo ko bheench raha thaa, sehla raha thaa, aur nitambo ki drar main apni ungliyan phira raha thaa. Mere hath uski peeth par ghoom rahe the, uske kulhon par, uski baglon par, uske kandho par, uski gatdan par, uske chehre par, uske balon main, aur phir ant main vaapas uske mummon par. Main faisla nahi kar pa raha thaa ke mujhe use chumna chahiye, dularna,-puchkarna chahiye ja sehlana chahiye. Main sabh kuch ek sath kane ki koshish kar raha thaa, isliye bahut jaldi meri saans phoolne lagi.

Main vaapas hosh main aaya jab maine ma ko meri T-shirt ko niche se pakadate dekha aur phir wo use mere badan se utarne ki koshish karne lagi. Meri ma mere kapde utar rahi thee. Wo mujhe poora nagan karma chahti thee take apni tvacha se meri tvacha ke sparash ke ehsaas ko mehsos kar sake. Ma ke is karay main itni madkata bhari thee ke meri uttejna aur bhi badh gayi, mera lund pehle se bhi jyada kada ho gaya thaa.

Jab wo meri T-shirt ko mere sar se nikal rahi thee to main thoda sa piche hatt gaya. Jaise hi T-shirt gale se nikli main vaapas usase chipak gaya aur is baar uske nagan mumme meri nangi chati par dabb gaye the. Hamara tvacha se tvacha ka wo sparash akathniy thaa. Maine apni Poori jindagi main itna achchha kabhi mehsoos nahi kiya thaa jitna ab kar raha thaa jab meri ma ke mumme meri chati par dabe huye the, mere hath uske nitambo ko thame huye use thoda sa upar uthaye huye the aur mere honth uske hontho ko lagbhag chaba rahe the.

Akhirkar ma ne mere janoon par viram lagaya. Usne mujhe chumna band kar diya, mujhe usko sehlane se rok diya, aur mere kandhe par sar rakhkar mujhse sat gayi. Main use usi terah apni bahon main thame khada raha aur apni dhadkano par kabu pane ki koshish karne laga. Hum kuch der aise hi ek dusre ko bahon main liye khade the aur un sukhad lamho ka anand le rahe the.

Ant-teha, kafi samay baad, maine khud ko usase thod sa door hataya. Main use itne kas kar khud se chiptaye huye tha ke uske mumme meri chati main is terah dhans gaye the ke mujhe unhe jhatke se alag karna pada. Main, ma aur bed ke bichobich khada thaa. Ektaraf ko hatt kar maine ma ko bed par chadhne ka ishara kiya. 

Iske baad usne jo kiya wo sabse badhkar kamuk cheez hogi jo maine apni poori zindgi main dekhi hogi. Wo mere bed ki aur badhi aur main uski nangi kaya ko niharne laga. Usne bed par jhukte huye sabse pehle apne hath us par rakhe. Uske mumme uski chati se niche ki aur latak rahe the aur uski peeth aur gand ek bahut hi manmohak si curve bana rahi thee. Phir usne apne hath aage badhaye aur apna dahina ghutna uthakar bed par rakh diya jabke bayin tang piche ko failakar, usne apna jism atyant bhadkayu, madak, kamuk aur atyadhik uttejit mudra main tana. Maine vismay se uski nagan deh ko nihara aur mere lund ne uski us mudra ki pratikiriya main ek jordar jhatka khaya. Usne apna bayan ghutna uthakar use bhi bed par rakh diya. Ab uski mudra badalar ek chaupaye ki terah ho gayi thee, wo ab apne hathon aur ghutno ke bal bed par baithi thee, uski gand hawa main ubharkar chhat ki aur uthi huyi thee, uski peeth ek behad sundar si curve bana rahi thee, aur uske mumme mere dil ki dhadkano ke sath hildul rahe the. Wo ghutno ke bal kuch kadam aage badhkar mere takiye ke nazdik chali gayi. Phir usne apne jism ka agarbhag upar uthaya aur do teen second ke liye ghutno par baith gayi. Phir, wo jaldi se mere takiye par sar rakhkar mere bed par peeth ke bal lait gayi aur mujhe dekhne lagi. Uske chehre ki bhav bhangimayen aur uski ankhe jaise pukar pukar kar keh rahi thee ‘ aao, mere upar chadh jao aur mujhe chod dalo’

Wo meri aur dekh rahi thee aur uski ankhe uska chehra jaise keh raha thaa ‘aao aur mujhe chod dalo’

Main yakayak jaise neend se jaaga. Maine furti se apna payjama aur shorts utar fainke aur bed par chadhkar uske paas chala gaya. Uske jism main jald se jald sama jane ki us jabardast kamna se mera lund paththar ki terah kathor ho chukka thaa. Use pane ki hasrat main mera jism bukhar ki terah tapne laga thaa. Main us waqat itna kamottejit thaa ke uske sath sehvas karne ki khawahis ne mere dimag ko kund kar diya thaa. Main uske andar sama jane ke siva aur kuch bhi soch nahi paa raha thaa jaise meri jindgi is baat par nirbhar karti thee ke main kitni tezi se uske andar dakhil ho sakta hun.

Main bed par uski bagal main chala gaya aur uske mummon ko maslane laga. Uski bagal main jate hi maine uske hontho ko apne hontho main bhar liya aur unhe chumne aur chusne laga aur phir main uske upar chadhne laga, maine apne honth uske hontho par poori terah chipkaye rakhe. Uske upar chadh kar maine khud ko uski tango ke bich main vyabasthit kiya to mera lund uske pet par chubh raha thaa. Usne apni tange thodhi si khol di take main unke bich apne ghutne rakhkar uske upar let saku.

Main uske badan par lete lete aage piche hone laga, uske mummo par apni chati ragadane laga, main bina chumban tode apna lund siddha upari ki aur karna chahta thaa. ek baar mera lund uski kamar par siddha ho gaya to main apna jism niche ko khiskane laga. Dhire dhire main apna jism tabb tak niche ko khiskata raha jab tak maine apna lund uski choot ke chote chote balon main fislata mehsoos nahi kiya, aur niche jehan uski choot thee. Jald hi maine mehsoos kiya ke mera lund uski choot ko chum raha hai. 

Main besudh hota ja raha thaa. Main apni ma ko chodne ke liye itna betab ho chukka thaa ke ab bina ek pal ki bhi deri kiye main uske andar sama jana chahta thaa. Main uske mukh par mukh chipkaye, use chumte, chatate, chust huye aage piche hone laga is koshish main ke mujhe uska ched mil jaye. Shaayad usko bhi ehsas ho gaya thaa ke mera irada kaya hai, isiliye usne apne ghutne upar ko uthaye, apni tange kholkar apne pedu ko upar ko mere lund ki aur dhakela. 

Jab main use bhukho ki terah chume, chuse ja raha thaa, jab mera jisam itni utkatta se uska ched dhoondh raha thaa, usne apna hath hamare bich niche karke mera lund apni ungliyon main pakad liya aur mujhe apni apni choot ka rasta dikhaya. Jaise hi maine apna lund uski choot ke hontho ke bich paya, jaise hi maine apne lund ke sire par uski choot ke gilepan ko mehsoos kiya, maine apna lund uski choot par daba diya. 

Main us samay itna uttejit ho chukka thaa ke kuch bhi sun nahi pa raha thaa. Mere kaan gunj rahe the. Main itna kamottejit thaa ke use apni poori takat se chedna chahta thaa. Usne jaroor meri adhirta ko mehsoos kiya hoga jaise mujhe yakin hai usne jarror meri uttejna ki charam seema ko mehsoos kiya thaa. Usne mujhe apne andar lene ke liye khud ko hil dul kar vyabasthit kiya. Maine mehsoos kiya wo mujhe apne hontho ke bich sahi jegah dikha rahi thee. Usne mera lund apni choot ke hontho par ragada aur phir use thoda upar niche kiya, ant main maine mehsoos kiya mere lund ki topi ekdum uski choot ke ched upar thee. phir usne apne nitamb upar ko aur unche kiye aur uske ghutne uske mummon se satt gaye. Usne apne hath meri peeth par rakhe aur thoda sa dwab dekar mujhe ghusane ka ishara kiya. 

Maine ghusaya. Main itni takat se ghusana chahta thaa jitni takat se main ghusa sakta thaa magar iske ulat maine aram se ghusana suru kiya. Uske andar sama jane ki apni jabrdast ichcha aur usme dhire dhire samane ka wo farak avisvasniy thaa. Balke ek baar maine apne lund ko vaapas piche ko kheencha take ekdum sahi tarike se daal saku, main ma ki choot main pehli baar lund ghusane ko ek yadgar bana dena chahta thaa. 

Maine uski choot ko khulte huye mehsoos kiya. Wo bahut gili thee isliye ghusane main koyi khas zor nahi lagana pada. Main apne lund ko uski choot main samate mehsoos kar raha thaa. Main mehsoos kar raha thaa kis terah mera lund uski choot main jegah banate aage badh raha thaa. Maine apne lund ka sira uski choot main samate mehsoos kiya. Wo ekdum sathir thee aur uske hathon ka meri peeth par dwab mujhe tezi se andar ghusa dene ke liye mazboor kar raha thaa.

Main uske andar sama chukka thaa. Maine apni poori jindgi main aisa anand aisa lutf kabhi mehsoos nahi kiya jitna tabb kar raha thaa jab mera lund uski choot main poori terah sama chukka thaa. Maine use itna anadir dhakela jitna main dhakel sakta thaa aur phir main uske upar lait gaya aur use is bekrari se chumne laga jaise main kal ka suraj nahi dekhne wala thaa.

Main apni ma ko chum raha thaa jab main apni ma ko chod raha thaa. Main uske mumme apni chati par mehsoos kar raha thaa aur uski janghe apne kulho par. Main uski jivha apne mukh main mehsoos kar raha thaa aur uski aidiyan apne nitambo par. Main uske jism ke ang ang ko mehsoos kar raha thaa, bahar se bhi aur andar se bhi. Main us sansani ko bayan nahi kar sakta jo mere lund se mere dimag aur mere paon ke bich daud rahi thee.

Humne bahut bahut der tak aise hi chumte rahe jabke mera lund uski choot main ghusa huya thaa. kayi baar main use andar bahar karta magar jayadatar main use uske andar ghusaye bina kuch kiye pada raha jabke mera mukh uske mukh par apna kamal dikha raha thaa. Maine uske honth chume, uske gal chume, uski ankhe, uski bhaven, uska matha, uski thodai, uski garden aur uske kaan ki lau ko chata aur apne munh main bharkar chusa. Maine uske mumme chusne ki bhi koshish ki magar uske gulabi nipple chuste huye main apna lund uski choot ke andar nahi rakh pa raha thaa.

Adhi raat ke us waqat jab mujhe uski choot main lund gusaye na jane kitna waqat guzar chukka thaa maine dhyaan diya hum us vyagarta se chumna band kar chuke the jis vyagarta se ab wo mujhe mera lund uski choot main andar bahar karne ke liye uksa rahi thee. Maine dhire dhire andar bahar karna suru kiya, meri peeth par uske hath mujhe uski choot main pump karte rehne ko uksa rahe the. Ant-teha uske hath mujhe aur bhi tezi se dhakke marne ko uksane lage, ab main use chum nahi raha thaa bas use chod raha thaa. Main apne kulhe aage piche karte huye, apna lund uski choot main tezi se zor laga kar andar bahar kar raha thaa. Usne meri peeth par apni tange kainchi ki terah kas kar is baat ko pakka kar diya ke mera lund uski choot ke andar ghusa rahe aur phisal kar bahar na nikal jaye. Uske mumme mere dhakkon ki rafter ke sath thumke laga rahe the aur uske chehre par wo jabardast bhav the jinhe na main siraf dekh sakta thaa balke mehsoos bhi kar sakta thaa. wo hamari kaamkridaa ki madhurata ko mehsoos kar rahi thee aur uska jism bade ache se pratikiriya main taal se taal mila kar jwab de raha thaa.

Isi terah premras main bheege un lamho main ek samay aisa bhi aaya jab uske jisam main tanav aane laga aur main uske jisam ko akadte huye mehsoos kar sakta tha. Apne lund ke uski choot main andar bahar hone ki pratikiriya sarop main uske jisam ko akadate huye mehsoos kar sakta thaa. Asliyat main use chodne ke samay uski pratikiriya ke liye main tyyar nahi thaa jab uska badan vastav main hichkole khane laga. Usne meri peeth par apni tange aur bhi zor se kas di aur upar ki aur itne zor se dhakke marne lagi jitney zor se main niche ko nahi maar pa raha thaa. Uske dhakke itne tez itne zordar the ke main akhirkar sthir ho gaya jabke wo niche se apni gand uchal uchal kar mere lund ko poori takat se apni choot main pump kar rahi thee. Uski karahe ajibo grib theen. Wo sisak rahi thee magar uski siskiyan uske gake se rundh rundh kar bahar aa rahi thee. 

Akhirkar mere khud ko sathir rakhne ke prayas ke kafi samay baad yeh huya. Usne kuch samay tak bahut zordar dhakke lagaye. Tab usne apni poori takat se khud ko upar aur mujh pe daba diya aur sthir ho gayi. phir wo dayen bayen chatpatati huyi cheekhne lagi. Wo apne hosh havas ganva kar cheekh rahi thee. wo itne zor se sakhlit ho rahi thee ke usne lagbhag mujhe apne upar se hata hi diya thaa

Akhirkar uska jism naram pad gaya aur maine use phir se chodna chalu kar diya. Is baar dhire dhire aur ek si rafter se. Main apne jism main hone wali sanasanahat ko achche se mehsoos kar sakta thaa. Main bhi apna sakhlan nazdik aata mehsoos kar raha thaa aur main us chudayi ko jayada se jayada kheenchna chahta thaa jab wo ekdam naram pad gayi thee. Mujhe use is terah chodne main jayada maza aa raha thaa kyonki ab main apni sansanahat par apna dhyaan kendrit kar sakta thaa aur uski choot main apna poora lund pelte huye uski choot se jayada se jayada maza le sakta thaa. 

Maine apne andkoshon main halka sa current daudate mehsoos kiya aur mujhe malum chal gaya ke ab kuch hi pal bachen hain. Main aur bhi tezi se lund choot main pelne laga kyonki ab wo mazedar sansanahat ka ehsaas badh gaya thaa. Meri rafter lagatar badhti ja rahi thee, poori sarishti ka anand main apne lund ke sire par mehsoos kar raha thaa aur ant main meri halat esi thee ke main khud ko uske jism main samahit kar dena chahta thaa.

Main itne zor se sakhlit hone laga ke mera jism besudh sa ho gaya. Wo ek jabardast sakhlan thaa aur main bahut josh se uske andar chutne laga. Pehle mere lund ne thode se jhatke khayen aur phir bahut dwab se mere virya ki fuhare lund se chutne lagi. Mujhe pakka vishwas hai usne bhi mere virya ki chot apni choot ke andar mehsoos ki hogi. Ek ke baad ek virya ki fuharen nikalti rahi. Main lambe samay tak chutata raha. Maine khud ko poori takat se usase chiptaye rakha jab tak viryapatan ruk na gaya. Akhirkar main uske upar deh gaya.

Main thak kar chur ho chukka thaa aur wo mujhe apni bahon main thame huye thee. kitna sukhdayi thaa jab ma mujhe apni bahon main thame huye thee aur mera lund uski choot main ghusa huya thaa. Akhirkar mera lund naram pad kar itna sikud gaya ke ab main use uski choot ke andar ghusaye nahi rakh sakta thaa. wo phisal kar bahar aa gaya. Wo mere liye bhi sanket thaa, main uske upar se phisal kar uski bagal main lait gaya. 

Usne meri aur karvat le li aur mujhe dekhne lagi jabke main apni saanso par kabu pane ka prayas kar raha thaa. . Akhirkar, jab main khud par niyantaran pane main safal ho gaya, wo muskrayi, mere hontho par ek naram sa chumban ankit kar usne pucha: “to, kaisa tha? Kiasa laga tumhe?”

“Mere paas shabad nahi hain ma ke tumhe bata saku ye kitna adubhut thaa! Kitna jabrdast! Ekdum anoka ehsaas thaa!”

“Hun, sach main bahut jabardast thaa” wo bahut khush jaan padti thee. “Maine apni poori jindgi main itna achcha kabhi mehsoos nahi kiya jitna ab kar rahi hun” 

Wo us sptahant main hamare milan ke kayi maukon main se pehla mauka thaa. Humne baar baar dil khol kar ek dusre ko pyar kiya. Hum ek dusre ke ehsaaso ko, ek dusre ki bhavnayon ko achhe se samaga aur hum ek dusre ke prati apni gehri ichchayon ko apni khawahison ko kamnayon ko bhi bakhubi jaan chuke the aur ek dusre ko jata bhi chuke the. Mere pitaji ke aane ke baad bhi hum apni ratri dincharya banaye rakhne main safal rahe balke humne iska vistar kar ise apni subh ki dincharya bhi bana liya jab mere pitaji ke office ke liye nikalne ke baad wo mer kamre main aa jati aur hum tabb tak pyar karte jabb tak mere college jane ka samay na ho jata. Yeh haqiqat ke hamara pyar hamara rishta varjit hai, hamare milan ko hamare prem sambandh ko aaj bhi itna anandmayi itna tibre bana deta hai jitna yeh tab thaa jab kuch mahino pehle humne iski suruaat ki thee…!